SNOW in DC.

It's the Saturday before Christmas and a white blanket of SNOW is covering the District. Amazing. I am hesitant to leave for a Florida in a few days for a balmy holiday in the 80's because it is beautiful here! Blizzard warnings until 6pm. I have never lived somewhere like this before and am soaking it up. We made a huge pot of Brunswick stew last night in the crock pot, have movies from Netflix (although I am trying to coax Jonathan into watching every Christmas movie we have over and over again!), beers in the fridge, and even 2 new games from Target! Last night we went on a walk to help our friends find a taxi (who came over last night for pre-snow festivities) and it looked like glitter was falling from the sky...It is soft and fine and pretty. Now it is accumulating on our window sill and we are supposed to get more than 20 inches.

***Now it's Sunday. The snow is still beautiful. I feel badly though because lots of people are trying to get OUT of DC (my sister included) and they are stuck. Our city is not used to such snow and what to do with it now! Jonathan and I were supposed to go to the symphony last night at the Kennedy Center for Handel's Messiah as our special Christmas date, but it was canceled due to blizzard warnings. We had a fun day nonetheless.....

Jonathan and I had a blast. We trudged, jumped, climbed, and sledded to our heart's delight. You could literally jump and fall into the snow and it would catch you with soft, powdery arms. I felt exhausted from so much play. It was glorious. We luckily found a left behind saucer sled in the park nearest to our house! What a fortune. We tested it out in the same park and it was great...Then we ventured to the bigger park and found a huge crowd watching and lined up to slide down the "big" hill. Seriously, there was a crowd! DC neighbors coming together for snow fun. I think I fell in love with DC to infinity. SO much love. Plus, there were cross country skiers and even a few skiers going downhill and snowboarders making jumps out of the snow, how funny is that! We were entertained for sure. Then we got a warm chaipucchino from Open City (one of our favorite places to go) and ordered some food to go, to come back to our warm and cozy home and watched movies all night long. Now there is still lots of snow outside and it is nice and sunny so we will go explore some more....We don't leave for Florida until late Tuesday night so I'm sure the airport will be up and running again. Although I might be (secretly)dreaming of a "White Christmas" and getting stuck.

Hallelujah.

Bethany Dillon's Hallelujah song says,

"Who can hold the stars
And my weary heart?
And see everything?

I've fallen so hard
Sometimes I feel so far
But not beyond your reach

I could climb a mountain
Swim the ocean
or do anything
But its when you hold me
that I start unfolding
And all I can say is...

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I choose to sing Hallelujah

The same sun that
rises over castles
and welcomes the day

Spills over buildings
Into the streets
Where orphans play

And only you can see the good
in broken things
You took my heart of stone
And made it home
and set this prisoner free"


This song has really spoken to me lately. Driving around town is often my sweet time with the Lord and this brings me to where I need to be. Humbled. Thankful. Needing to be filled up. Ready to receive something. To be made new. Clean. And made strong. My cracks filled in. I remember making things out of clay when I was little....when there were little cracks, you would wet a paint brush with water and fill in the cracks. You would rub your hands on the wet clay and put the crack together again. When I get dried out and the fractures start to appear, God is good to fill them, seal them and send me out again, stronger and fortified.

I am thankful and filled with love. From my God. He is bigger and better than Christmas decorations, cute wrapping paper, yummy smells and vacations. It's funny because December doesn't feel different to me than other months. Our tiny home doesn't allow for decorations (no storage afterwards) and while my heart might start to yearn for a mantle to hang stockings or a big tree in the corner for a brief second, I am actually pretty proud of myself for my contentedness (this is always a struggle). While these things bring joy to many during this season, I am hoping to find joy in lasting things. Things that don't go in a box for the other 11 months a year. I know the church celebrates God coming to earth this month, but He has been with me for every breath, not just this month, so I don't really get the emphasis, but am thankful for Him being real to me always, that maybe I am moving on from the huge ups and downs and being more steady. Of course, I doubt and protest and grumble and sin a lot but the Lord is more real to me now: beyond dramatics and pageants and goose bumps and huge highs and lows. So Hallelujah. Whatever is in front of me, I will sing Hallelujah.....

city life.

I got 2 parking tickets today. That is $60 dollars in one day for the DC government. Lovely.

Now, I get parking tickets pretty often but 2 in one day is pretty terrible. City life's charms. On street parking at home and at work. This means I have a permit at home, so can park along the curb, but if I get home after 7pm one night, it's hard to find a spot so if I don't want to walk really far, then I sometimes have to park "illegally" overnight. I don't get caught everytime I do this but I wasn't so lucky this morning. But I had groceries to bring in last night and it was raining! I didn't want to walk 6 blocks and across a major road to get home lugging stuff in the rain. Not sure if that was worth $30 but at the time it felt like it would be.

I also have to park on the street at work. However, work is across town so my residential permit doesn't work there, this means I can only park for 2 hours. Then I have to go move it and move it far enough away from where I was previously parked to be sure the parking enforcer won't notice that I just moved and that I don't belong parking there all day, every day. Sigh. I like having a reason to leave the office and walk around for a bit, but sometimes I forget or get held up and can't go move the car. Hence parking ticket #2.

Once I don't need my car at work (transitioning to being at the office more), then I will start taking the metro and then I'm sure I will have many more commentaries about life in DC. Until thenm I shall share experiences such as parking tickets, moving the car every 2 hours and hauling in groceries in the rain.

If Ashley (my sister) had a blog then she could tell a tale of city life including find 2 mice in her apartment and trying to chase them into a homemade trap. Gross and hilarious. The building she lives in is old and historic, yet comes with its share of issues like mice appartently. So, we will take the bad (parking tickets, mice, overpriced everything) with the good (interesting people, walking everywhere, history and things to do, beautiful scenery.....).

Good news: Jonathan gets home tonight and I shall not be husbandless for almost 2 weeks....Yay. Now I just have to calm myself so I don't seem as "needy" as I feel......

alone time.

Jonathan's travels have increased lately so I have had way too much alone time for my own good. I did read all the Twilight books (even though I said I wouldn't hop on that bandwagon, but they were pretty darn entertaining!!). I have been studying for my licensure exam which is around the corner. This has been productive. I have gone to the gym more. Otherwise, I have sulked a bit and thought too much. Alone time gets old quickly for me. I am excited for a whole week with Jonathan coming up for Thanksgiving. We are going to North Carolina to spend some time in the mountains with Jonathan's side of the family.

I continue to be thankful for my job, since it takes up most of my time these days it's a good thing it's positive. The people I work with, peers and the families we serve, always inspire me and stretch me so much that I didn't know I could grow anymore. Sometimes I don't want to grow or stretch. It can be tiring. Somehow, I wake up in the morning, and the Lord refreshes me and I am ready to go again. Even if I went to bed and thought, "I can't do this in the morning". I do and I still love it.

Some examples of how I am "stretched" each day. A co worker tells a story of his childhood in an African country in which he had to flee as a teenager because civil war broke out (as in the movie, "Blood Diamond"), escape to the US after walking through countries in Africa, to never see his family again. Wow. A family I met with today that lives in one of the worse housing projects of DC (think "The Wire"), with 6 kids piled into a small apartment, and very affected by poverty. Yet, the older brother still helps the little brother with his homework. When they can't afford money for public transportation (which is most of the time), the teen girls and boys walk over 6 miles across the city to get to school and back. The Father (yes, they have a Dad in their life which is pretty rare yet amazing) walks everywhere, taking hours if needed, to get things for his family and attend appointments. They lost their mother suddenly to undetected illness. Yet, I'm sure these kids complain far less than most in the burbs with every toy imaginable and a nice car to transport them around. The upcoming struggle is to find Thanksgiving and Christmas baskets to have a nice meal together for the holidays. Lets see.....Another teenage girl that I work with who is healing from sexual abuse. She writes the most amazing poetry that touches me more than anything I've read from a NY Times Best Seller list. She has a gift and I am entrusted with this gift of her art and the expression painful feelings from such horrible things that have happened to her in her young life. A picture of resilience and strength, yet she sees herself as a shamed, dirty, stupid and poor child. I could tell you a story like this about each and every child, teenager and family I work with....Yet to write it down with my lame descriptors almost cheapens it. They are more amazing than my portrayal can describe and I wish you all had the opportunity to meet and understand and "see" them as I have and be changed. Incorporating the change and experience into my life is the hard part....but I will never complain about that....To not have poverty at my doorstep, sexual abuse in my past, deceased parents, racism, and so many other obstacles in my life, I am so undeserving and often go to sleep wondering "why me" as to the amount of goodness, opportunity, blessings and love in my life. Yes, I am lonely when Jonathan travels but this is such a small "thorn in my side". Yet the pain I do feel at times, makes me human, and able to relate and "be" with people in their pain, their uncertainty and that I am real, able to cry, fall apart, scream and feel "crazy".....

Not much to say so.....

Quiz: one word answers only (which I did not succeed at doing).

Where is your cell phone? coffee table
Your hair: helpless (need appointment ASAP...crap, that is more than one word)
Your mother: giving
Your father: patient
Favorite food: southern or mexican
Dream last night: my husband leaving to go to work (oh wait, that really happened at 4am).
Favorite drink: diet coke
Goal/Dream: a more simple life with children and to where I can give back to God and others
What room are you in: living
Hobby: reading
Fear: paralyzing
Where you want to be in 6 years: kiddos and a happy hubby....not sure about anything else
Where were you last night? dinner for my sister's birthday
Something that you aren't? half hearted
Muffins: tempting
Wish list: patience (i started to type other things but then realized if i had to write one word, i need patience the most, because i shouldn't "want" so much!)
Where did you grow up? Campbell St.
Last thing you did: ate a mini snickers bar (halloween candy)
What are you wearing? workout capri's and my gator hoodie
your tv: source of noise which i enjoy
your pets: RIP daisy :(
Friends: faithful
your life: unbalanced right now
your mood: restless and bored
missing someone: yes
vehicle: makes my life easier
something you are not wearing: makeup
favorite store: anthropologie and target
favorite color: pink
last time you laughed: today
last time you cried: last night
your best friend: jonathan
Place you go over and over: facebook, ha
person who emails you regularly: shopping websites and my supervisor (that is sad, someone send me real email!)
favorite place to eat: home

October.

Jonathan at Shenandoah
View at the top
Shenandoah National Park, Virginia
View from Glassy Chapel, SC, where Jamie and Michael wed
Life time best friends...Going on 16 years!
Jonathan and I at wedding


It is hard to believe it is October 20. Seems like time is flying by in all aspects.

October has been good. We traveled down to the Carolina's for my dear friend (from Orlando and DC!), Jamie's wedding. It was a weekend of festivities and I came away refreshed from being out the city, surrounded by friends that are more like family (we have known each other for longer than we haven't known each other now), and being around strong Christian faith and hearing TRUTH. It's always a blessing and miracle to witness others take vows of marriage. Encouraging and affirming. Such a wonderful time for many reasons.

We were able to get away another Saturday for a long day in the beautiful Shenandoah National Park. It's a few hours away from DC and it's amazing. A lot of hikes and scenery and nice to get fresh air and ranging vistas. Much quieter than city life and amazing that it is in easy driving distance from DC. It was a wonderful day and we are planning to go back soon now that the leaves are getting close to peak color.

Besides the weather being WAY too cold for October, Fall is going well so far and we are looking forward to being in town for a few weekends in a row without travel. Hope to slow down, read some books, cuddle up in my new LL Bean slippers and "be". With Jonathan continuing to travel each week for work, our quiet weekends at home are treasured, especially for him, so we are trying to protect and treasure them.

There is not much to report and I am content at the quietness. In life. My heart. No drama and that is okay. Glad I can say that. Maybe I used to like the drama and "excitement". Growing up, perhaps.

Anyone else on growing up and okay with quiet weekends and "stillness" in life?

Anniversary #3.

September 30, 2006.

Heather and Jonathan married in Orlando, Florida, surrounded by dearest friends and family, and blown away at God's faithfulness at bringing them together, surviving years of dating with ups and downs, and ready to start a new adventure as husband and wife.

September 30, 2009.

Three years of marriage! I am big on celebrating every anniverary....Because divorce is so common and an easy way "out" in our society, so I am happy to report our committment and growth as we continue this adventure together in shared life. It is not always easy, but so worth it.

So, we started our marriage in Atlanta. Jonathan working in town while I worked opposite hours at a restaurant. We had fun sharing an apartment, talking long walks in Peachtree Hills, cooking lots of dinners in our new pots and pans, and swims at the Tuscany pool at night before bed.

Then came, "Let's move to DC", drive up for a weekend to confirm our decision, go to open houses, decide to buy a 580 square foot condo (after being in it for 5 minutes on previously mentioned weekend in DC to decide the next years of our lives), then I try to find a job, I do find a job, and in June 2007, we moved to DC.

So, we are still in our tiny but lovely condo. I am still at the said job, which I happen to love and many opportunities have come through this job to grow me professionally and personally, and we love the city, exploring the many things to do and being in this part of the country, close to many big cities, the mountains, the beaches, and such amazing weather with tastes of all the seasons. Our favorite thing to do is put on our running shoes and take some money and walk around DC all day....

Jonathan and I went to California this past weekend to celebrate his 28th birthday and our anniversary. With our wedding 5 days after Jonathan's birthday, the two seem to be combined, but Jonathan doesn't seem to mind. (At least this year, I remembered it WAS his birthday. The year of the wedding, I don't think I even mentioned it with "wedding" on my mind). It was such a special trip and we loved having time away together. So thankful!

What have I learned during these 3 years?

Let's see. Buying a house is stressful and hard but we survived and now its ok. Moving and a lot of transitions is hard during your first year of marriage. Being settled and not "on the move" is actually nice and not "boring", as I once would have imagined. Jonathan is far more faithful, loving, patient, giving and a servant than I ever would have guessed or wanted. He is so good to me. Marriage will definitly grow you up. There is not much room for selfishness (you both won't be happy) and you have to give in on the little things like not getting AS annoyed when your partner doesn't totally shut the kitchen cabinets (his pet peeve, my eternal flaw) or when whiskers are left on the sink every Monday morning after this sink was just spic and spanned cleaned on Sunday (UGH! My pet peeve...his whiskers!). But we've learned to laugh and yes we might bicker but its done with love and humor and the security of marriage and being assured of Jonathan's love and committment to me has mellowed me out and let me put my energy into other areas of life, such as work. For us both, this time in life seems to be filled with work, but we value our family the most and are always trying to figure out what that looks like together, today and in the future.

So, I am contemplative and thankful for my marriage and sweet husband. I know I don't deserve anything and it is by God's grace He has given us blessings and each other for pleasure and His purposes. Not sure what our 4th year will hold, but glad to be in this with Jonathan and our faithful God.

Here are some pictures....Our wedding was so darn fun and I have been thinking about how awesome it was all day...So memorable and amazing. I wish I could be there again tonight :)I wouldn't change a thing.

To the Church (us).

I recently read Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis. While this book has been out for awhile, I just now got to it. Honestly, the ideas didn't seem too "new" to me and it wasn't my favorite of books but I got through it quickly and the epilogue really impacted me. I am glad to have read it to get to the end in which Mr. Bell wrote to us,

"One summer when I was in high school, my family and I were on vacation and decided to visit a church in the town where we were staying. At the end of the service, the pastor asked if anybody wanted to become a Christian. he said that people could repeat a prayer after him and become a Christian, right there at that moment in their seats. he said that if people repeated this prayer after him, they could be sure that when they died, they would go to heaven and not hell. He then asked everybody to bow their heads and close their eyes, and said the prayer, leaving space after each sentence for those who wanted to repeat the prayer after him. When he finished, he told everybody to keep their eyes closed and heads bowed. He then asked for the people who had prayed the prayer to raise their hands wherever they were seated. This way he would know who they were so he could pray for them. He said that nobody but him would be looking.

The pastor then said, "I see that hand over there. Thank you. I See a hand in the back. I see some young women in the front..." And he proceeded to acknowledge the hands that were going up all around the room.

During this entire time I had kept my eyes open and was watching the whole thing.

I didn't see any hands go up.

Several years ago my dad reminded me of that day. He told me that he had his eyes open the whole time as well - only he was not watching for hands. He was watching me. He said that when he realized what was going on and that I was observing it all, he had this sick feeling that I would walk away from God and church and faith forever. He kept thinking, I've lost Rob, I've lost Rob.

I am like you. I have seen plenty done in the name of God that I'm sure God doesn't want anything to do with. I have lots of reasons for bailing on the whole thing.

I am also like you because I have a choice. To become bitter, cynical, jaded, and hard. Anybody can do that. A lot have. Hatred is a powerful, unifying force. And there is a lot to be repulsed by.

Or, like you, I can reclaim my innocence. We can choose to reclaim our innocence together. We can insist that hope is real and that a group of people who love God and others really can change the world. We can reclaim our idealism and our belief and our confidence in the big ideals that stir us deep in our bones. We can commit all the more to being the kinds of people who are learning how to do what Jesus teaches us.

I am not going to stop dreaming of a new kind of faith for the millions of us who need it. I am not going to stop dreaming of new kinds of communities that put the love of God and the brilliance of Jesus on display in honest, compelling ways. I am not going to stop dreaming of new ways to live lives of faith and creativity and meaning and significance.

But I can't do it alone. I need you. We need you. We need you to rediscover wonder and awe. We need you to believe that it is really possible. We need you to join us.

It's better that way.

It's what Jesus had in mind. "

As I pray to not have a cynical heart towards children, mental health, systems of care which are supposed to take care of children, christians also who are supposed to take care of said children, and then the church in general, I need so much grace. For me it is so much easier to love those who might seem "far from the pew" but my own Christian brother, the preacher, the so called devout church goer, I sometimes find harder to love. But there is no excuse for any cynicism, bitterness or careless words. God will endlessly renew me to give grace, as I always receive grace from Him, I just need to ask and be humble, before God and everyone I interact with everyday and even on Sundays (when I go to church, which is a whole other topic but related!).

The wise Ms. Day

People say, ‘What is the sense of our small effort?’

They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time. A pebble cast into a pond causes ripples that spread in all directions. Each one of our thoughts, words and deeds is like that. No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless.

There’s too much work to do.

-Dorothy Day-

I have been inspired lately by the life and words of Dorothy Day (thanks jonnali!)....Her words above resonate with me, as often I seek to move mountains and make big changes into lives of hurting people, or my own life and situations, or those that I love...However, Ms. Day was so wise and I think she is right on. Often, if we think the challenge is BIG we never get going because it seems so intimidating and daunting. A smaller task we are more apt to move on and feel confident about accomplishing it. But let us not get discouraged by the enormity of the work to do, people to love, things to change or things that are "wrong", but MOVE now and in the PRESENT. Let your conversations be seasoned with salt. Do not speak idle words (read James!). Speak forth blessings and not curses. When you touch someone (the shoulder of a child, kisses on your baby) bless them in the name of Jesus. The great thing about this is that you don't have to tell someone you are blessing them, but can do it quietly and discreetly. The kids I worked with are blessed in the name of Jesus, but they don't know it...My hand on their shoulder is a way to impart blessing (if I am intentional about it)..Oh the Father has been faithful to give us gifts that we need on this earth and to have access to everything Jesus had on this earth in His ministry. The Holy Spirit! Dear Lord, help us USE what YOU have GIVEN for YOUR glory and redemption in this world. Let us have energy, purpose and renewal. I need You to fill me up!

So Long Sweet Summer.

Have you ever heard that Dashboard Confessional song?

It reminds me of younger days. Specifically the year after college, after my friends and I traveled Europe and then I moved to Atlanta....I was so carefree, yet I didn't know it, but life was full and good, filled with adventure, unknowns and ideas for all that was ahead. While in Europe, on many of the train rides, I listened to a song such as this and journaled and thought a lot.

Pondering, as I watched Europe go by through a train window. I am still that same 22 (or was it 23?) year old gal in some ways but yet so different. Hopefully, in a good way different. But I sometimes yearn for those carefree days. No husband. No morgage. No real job. Grad school, yes, but not compareable to work.work.work. I didn't know the hurt in the world. My reality was different than the reality I know about now. The stories of kids and broken families that I have heard since then. My outlook was sunnier perhaps. But heartache is the same, younger or older. Things with Jonathan were unsettled. I dated looking for excitement but it wasn't satisfying. I had inner struggles of how to relate psychology and my studies to my belief in Christ and how He is working in the world. I was still my self with my own issues, 23 or 27.5 years old. Struggling, falling, needing grace. And more grace. Sweet fellowship was a blessing then. I had dear friends in Atlanta. Many dinners with laughing and wine, walks around the city talking, shopping and fun. I had more time for friends and people and that always means a more fulfilled life and time. Girl roommates watching sex and the city all day, walks around Piedmont Park, dinners with unlimited wine refills.

Ahhh. So many seasons in life, all with their sweet and yet hard moments.

Anyways, this song takes me back there and it reminds me of days like this, where summer is fading and a fall chill is in the air. The sun was gone today and I ordered wool slippers from LLBean....Yikes. Summer is officially gone, huh? White pants folded and put at the top of the closet. Summer concerts done. The pools closed. Tan fades. Vacation days consumed.

Here is to a new season...I'm reluctant to let go of summer but maybe the beautiful leaves and cool weather will romance me. I hope so.

Back to Real Life.

Uncle Jonathan and Eli

My sweet nieces: Sydney, Ruth Anne and Hannah

Jonathan and the Lively girls from Belle Glade

Lively family!

DC Lively's at the beach

Our 12 days in Florida were wonderful. I have been full force back to "reality" in DC and haven't had much time to contemplate our vacation, but the fact that when I came back to work I got comments that "I look different" must mean that 1.) I needed a vacation and 2.) It was well taken and I soaked up every minute including a nice tan and rest for the baggy eyes.

While the day to day includes more stressors, free time and some "blah" activities, I was happy to come back to our home in DC, a city that we love and can't imagine leaving, and to get back to work. My Dad sometimes drives me crazy when he constantly says how important it is to love what you do....And this was modeled to me my entire life by my Dad. I have never heard him complain once (this is in 27.5 years!) about his job and working, making him entirely the most positive person I know to the point where you have to think something is wrong with him, but he really just chooses to be positive and genuinely enjoys and finds purpose in his work. SO, while I have not reached even close to his positivity, I am thankful for my work and that when I got back from vacation, caught up around the office, called my children and families to reconnect, I felt enthusiastic, challenged and some kind of genuine joy. So, thanks Dad for instilling in me the importance to like what you do all day long and for God/my workplace/coworkers to contributing to making this a reality for me.

Two weeks back into the full swing of things, vacation sure does feel like it was a long time ago but here are some pictures (above).

Rest.

I guess it is a good thing that you don't know you are tired until you stop, or something like how that phrase goes....In anticipation of my vacation, which begins tomorrow night, I have been completely unmotivated this week to do anything. If I felt like this continually, I would be a restless, bored, unhappy mess! My guess is that I am just mentally "checked out" for vacation and my HOPE is that when I return in 12 days that I will feel refreshed and ready to go once again. Eek. My perspective this week has freaked me out a bit in that idea that I thought I loved my job, life, DC, day to day activities, but this week every task has felt like that dread before going to the dentist or something. Not a fun way to live life and I am thankful that NORMALLY I am happy, optimistic and purposeful in my days.

So, we are off to Florida for the most consecutive vacation days I have taken since working this job for 2 years! I am thrilled to rest, have a stack of books I have been wanting to read, and even a checklist of movies to rent in my head (we have gotten far behind on movie watching-it's hard to stay inside during the wonderful summer in DC!). Plus, we get to see all of our families and we will have enough time to actually just "be" with people and not rush around "catching up". Excited to feel loved and in the sunshine for a great rest called vacation.

Be back July 20....

How do we do this?

"More and more the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn't be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes and hugs that you do not simply like them, but you truly love them."

-Henri Nouwen, from his book Gracias!

Yes! In our world of being "busy" I feel so moved to reject that culture and learn how to "be" with people. Luckily, my job allows me to do this for some extent, becuase I am with people all day and do get to sit on their porch stoops, or go on a walk, all in the name of mental health treatment and community based services, BUT how do we make this how we LIVE? How do we work for a living the 9-5 + a few more hours AND share life with each other in a real and genuine way?! Any ideas about how to make this a reality and not just a pretty quote?

Friendship.

From CS Lewis' The Four Loves,

"...in Friendship...we think we have chosen our peers. In reality, a few years difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university over another...the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting--any of these chances might have kept us apart. But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples, 'Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,' can truly say to every group of Christian friends 'You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.' The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out. It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of all the others."


I love this! It is truly amazing to think about those special people in our lives and how we have met them and become connected. My bestest friend lived across the street from me in Orlando growing up (since we were infants) and we lived together 4 years in college! My parents sent me to a private school, against my protests, for middle school and I met more of my bestest friends who I have known now for 15 years. I took dance with a friend, who I still treasure and adore, even though its been years and years. While I was sad to go to college in Florida, which was a feeling shared with my future husband but didn't know it, Jonathan (who was bummed he couldn't go to an Ivey League in the NE), so we met at UF as "little" 19 year olds (in comparison to being old 27 year olds). In Atlanta, I met girlfriends by somehow getting in a small group, even though we went to different churches and met in "rebellion" to normal formations of small groups! Starting a job around the same time as someone, sitting on the plane next to someone on a flight....It's awesome to think how people come into our lives and while some only for a season, that God orchestrates all of this for our enjoyment, growth, encouragement, and ultimately for His glory. Nuts.

hope is the thing with feathers.

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me."

-Emily Dickinson

I found this in the quite delightful children's book, Feathers, today as I read it with a child and we stopped to discuss this poem and it's beauty...The 8 year old girl "got" it and my adult soul was also perked up a bit during the normal afternoon slump.

Dear Mrs. Obama

Dear First Lady, Mrs. Obama,

I attended the Washington Science and Technology Charter School high school graduation ceremony today in support of a young lady who I have worked with over the past two years. This young lady graduated today, representing years of hard work and overcoming many hardships and challenges in her life. Struggles to the extent of which I have never personally experienced: like those powerful stories that you read about in memoirs of resilience on the best seller list.

Because I was at this graduation to celebrate a young woman’s perseverance and accomplishments, I was honored to hear you speak to the graduating class, teachers, parents, and well, me. It was like you were speaking directly at me. As if I came into your office one day, beat down and discouraged, and it was your job to pick me back up, dust me off, and send me away inspired and ready to go again.

For the past two years, I have been working with children, adolescents and their families at Community Connections, a non-profit mental health agency here in DC. Formally, I am a mental health clinician and that is the nature of my role and vocational responsibilities. Additionally, I wear many “hats” of mentor, cheerleader, target of rage, mediator, taxi driver, advocate, educator and friend for many of these beautiful young people in the district. Professionally, there are things such as boundaries and best practices, which I hold in high esteem, but beyond a job title, I am a person who works with people and their emotions, dreams, hopes, disappointments, and deep hurts.

As author Henri Nouwen said, “"When I ask myself, "Who helps me the most?" I must answer, "The one who is willing to share his or her life with me".

My goal, which also facilitates mental health rehabilitation, is to share my life and self with others as Nouwen mentions. To meet them where they are and to just be with them at a given moment in time. Hopefully, this will propel them to growth, a more positive life, and less troublesome symptoms as they live their lives. Without this crucial relationship and regard for people, my guess is that mental health treatment would be an utter failure.

While it might sound inspirational on paper, the days are long, tiring and the rewards small and slow in coming. Progress has to be measured by inches, not feet. Emotionally, at the end of the day, I am lucky if there is any energy left for myself or my husband. Of course, I have purpose in my days and work, knowing that I do make a difference, even as small as if might seem or actually be, but I do get worn down and discouraged.

So thank you for your inspiration today. As you spoke to the graduates of 2009, and said, “You are ready” even though you have doubts and insecurities, underneath a confident exterior. Because 9 years after my own high school graduation, I often think I am not smart enough, kind enough, self aware enough, or worthy enough to do this work. But I accept your words of “You are ready” and as you passed on inspiration to these young people, you also gave it to me. Thank you for talking with us, not down to us, or at us. There is such warmth in shared human experiences. In the realization that while we might look different and come from various backgrounds, we actually share such similar hopes and dreams, and hurts. It is comforting to have those moments when we are more the same than different, more of a family than wandering parts, and a part of something beyond ourselves, whether that be a community rooting for young people, a country supporting soldiers abroad, or adults trying to keep our families and work lives balanced.

A sincere thank you again, Mrs. Obama.

Best Regards,

Heather Lively

What We Need is Here.

"Geese appear high over us,

pass, and the sky closes.

Abandon, as in love or sleep,

holds them to their way,

clear in the ancient faith:

what we need is here.

And we pray, not for new earth or heaven,

but to be quiet in heart, and in eye, clear.

What we need is here. "



-Wendell Berry

********************************************

Jonathan and I were able to "get away" to the Delaware beach this weekend for a few days. I can't remember the last time I felt so relaxed, at ease, not thinking about what I needed to do next, or to feel guilty when relaxing because I "should be doing something more productive".

As I "protested" today at going back to work with psychosomatic symptoms of not feeling well, I came home a little early and found this poem, which really spoke to me, in light of the weekend. What we really need is here. Before us. Before me. Right now. Every day. Every breath. Yet I don't breath it enough, or recognize it, or label it, or appreciate it. So I hope to be more present NOW. Not tomorrow, or in an hour. But here and now. And see that I have all I need and when I look for something else, it is then I am lacking.

Prayer.

"To pray, I think, does not mean to think about God in contrast to thinking about other things, or to spend time with God instead of spending time with other people. Rather, it means to think and live in the presence of God. As soon as we begin to divide our thoughts about God and thoughts about people and events, we remove God from our daily life and put him into a pious little niche where we can think pious thoughts and experience pious feelings. ... Although it is important and even indispensable for the spiritual life to set apart time for God and God alone, prayer can only become unceasing prayer when all our thoughts -- beautiful or ugly, high or low, proud or shameful, sorrowful or joyful -- can be thought in the presence of God. ... Thus, converting our unceasing thinking into unceasing prayer moves us from a self-centred monologue to a God-centred dialogue. "

From Henri Nouwen's "Clowning in Rome".

If you haven't read Nouwen, I would encourage you to do so. His writing is simple, yet speaks profound truth in a meet-you-where-you-are kind of way and its like you can feel his love and compassion for you, as the reader. I can sit down with a book for an hour (and maybe finish it, they are quick) and come away feeling comforted, refreshed and with a bit more wisdom to take with me. Perfect for a Sunday afternoon.

Live.Love.DC

Fresh flowers from Eastern Market

A sunset and a picnic followed by fireworks Cherry Blossoms galore

We are almost at our 2 year anniversary for living in the District of Columbia. It was this time two years ago that we took a weekend road trip to DC from Atlanta, went to a whirlwind of open houses, explored neighborhoods, decided that we wanted to move here and put an offer on a condo, which would end up being "home" and our first, scary yet exciting experience with real estate. While at times, I have felt "strangled" so to speak with owning a home, we love saying that it is "ours", investing in it and the panic of watching the creeping down real estate market (well, I wouldn't say we "love" that part but the sweet wouldn't be sweet without the sour, right?). A reality show might be in the making of how we raise our (future) family with 2+ kids in 580 square feet without having social services called. Ha. Not really funny and something that is on my mind probably too much as I am now 27.5 and my friends start popping out babies.

Back to how much I love living in DC. The Washingtonian did a spread this month titled, "26 reasons to love Washington and lots more reaons we're lucky to live here." Some of my highlights the magazine also noticed:

-You can see the sky!

Most big cities you are suffocated by tall buildings but not here where there is building height limit of 130 feet, approx. 13 stories. Plus the green spaces, parks, trails, grass make it quite beautiful and has a "European" look (to me).

- It's a great mix of the North and South.

People consider Virginia the South, yet you are a few hours drive to Philly and NYC. The beach, lakes, mountains, and vineyards are all a drive away. Skiing in the winter and beach in the summer!

-Our lives have beautiful backdrops, We go about our days amid carved marble and places from history books.

Yes, this is one of my favorites. I still get my breath taken away as I drive by the Potomac River each morning and pass by the Jefferson memorial (and cherry blossoms in the Spring) on my way to WORK. A potentially mundane task, but here is its beautiful and I don't get tired of it. Plus weekend walks around the city to see a painting I read about in a book, or just a stroll past Lincoln in his big chair, or some pushups in Lafayette Square across from the White house.

-DC always has an aura of excitement. A feeling that any moment something of great importance is about to happen.

Last night walking home from the gym, we had to be re-routed because the Correspondence Dinner was happening and the road was blocked off with secret service, limos, and DC like celebs (and some real celebs) arrived in their tuxs and fancy dresses. Then I turned it on at home on C-SPAN and thought weird, this is happening 2 blocks from where I live. Now I don't think this particular dinner is the most important thing in the world, but the excitment was an unexpected surprise on a Saturday night.

-Reading is respected, higher education is honored, and the sexiest people are not skinny but smart.

While I have noticed that there are a lot less overweight people here (as opposed to the South), people work out to be healthy, not foxy. Yes, sometimes I do get tired of more drab looking, serious people, but brains are the new PRADA, right?! Ha. I have to think that all the brains here are working towards a better good. In my non-profit world, I am surrounding by everyday hero's who inspire me with their dedication to service, not climbing the ladder, and being in touch with people and their needs. Oh and did I mention living paycheck to paycheck to provide such services. While I don't say this is true for much of DC (aka the government sector who i hear are rennovating offices-not to extend judgement to all because i have a few "fed" friends that are exempt from my resentment), my pals and crowd are awesomely fun and great people.

Others the Washingtonian didn't mention....CLEAN metro!, being able to walk around, seasons, lots of free activities like concerts and festivals, lack of chain restaurants (although I do crave Chili's more often than I like to admit), and Rock Creek Park.

Something else great about our experience is that we live in a great neighborhood near Adams Morgan in NW. This means we get to explore surrounding areas quite easily like Dupont Circle, Logan, U St., Columbia Heights and Cleveland Park. That is already a lot. THEN I work in another super cool neighborhood, Eastern Market, which means I get to explore Capitol Hill and the areas around....There are so many cool and distinct neighborhoods.

So, Happy Anniversary to Us and DC!

I'm glad we jumped out in faith and/or craziness to come here 2 years ago for a new adventure.

Day by day.

Hi. I'm still here.

I haven't thought of anything to write about recently .

These past few weeks have been good. My parents came last weekend to DC to visit Ash, Jonathan and I. We had a nice visit with cherry blossoms and a day trip to Annapolis for some blue crabs and a more laid back atmosphere. This weekend I spent some time with work peeps, went to see fireworks for the ending of the cherry blossom festival, and then shared brunch with some friends on Easter.

Work is busy. Kids still have issues. I try to help them. Sometimes I feel like I am...Other times I feel clueless, untrained, and unworthy to even talk to them about these issues and just pray I don't harm them, more than hurt them! Working with human hearts and souls, filled with hurt and pain, is messy work. While I have read many a text book and continue to learn as much as I can there are times when there might not be an "answer", yet I am "with" these dear children and try to share in their life and experience with as much love and grace as I can muster. There is nothing greater I could try to pour myself into and I am thankful that these families are in my life. I hope they know that they teach me so much and give me so much. I should tell them. Then there are so many boundaries of professionalism that keep me separated from them in certain ways, which is good for us both, but my heart often has no boundaries in my care for these little ones. My parents always talk about me turning democrat, well if it means loving and wanting to care for others then I have been pegged. Isn't that the heart of Christ? To give to those who have not? Who am I (or you) to say who deserves it and who does not? I know I do not deserve anything. Only through the righteousness of Christ can I stand before my Lord.

My spirit feels kinda flat. I am content. But this season does not feel exciting, but I guess they should not always be full of fun and anticipation. Perseverance, quiet diligence, dutifulness. That is how most of my days are lately. Jonathan is still traveling and if you know us, work issues with him seem to drone on as we try to sort out what we need to be learning and if there will ever be an end in sight.

I like Brooke Fraser's songs. Her lyrics. Listen to "Faithful".

Some lyrics say, " When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same. When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray. And I want you more than I want to live another day...And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful"....

So that's where I'm at. And because HE is always faithful, I wait day by day and continue walking on this path, even though most days it doesn't feel glamorous or amazing, but know that He is doing something IN me, AROUND me, THROUGH me, and DESPITE of me.

Banana Pudding.

I don't think anyone chooses to work with children so they can feel uber appreciated each day. While I work hard, and am most of the time am happy to do it, with the kids, teenagers and parents here in DC, I don't expect "thank you's" or a general appreciation from them. Actually if I manage to not get attitude from a Mom or snide silence from a teenager, then that is a pretty good day. While I have a sense that most of the families are appreciative of me and my relationship with them, I am O.K. with not having a tangible demonstration of this appreciation.

However, this week one of the families I work with surprised me and totally made my day and probably my week. I am still beaming about it. As I was dropping off two of their teenage girls one night about 6pm after a girl's group, the little boy (who I also work with and have known 2 years now) and his little brother, come running out of the house, hyper and full of energy, no shirts on, and are knocking crazily at my window. They present me with a big Tupperware of banana pudding and are so excited that they almost drop it on the curb as I am trying to get the door open with them pushing against it.

You see a few weeks ago, when I was dropping one of the kids off I went inside to check in with their mother and Grannie, and they were in the middle of making banana pudding. I joked and said that banana pudding was my favorite, being from the South, and how nice it was to make it for me and all. Well, their Mom (who could certainly be described as "sassy" to put a positive spin on it) said, "This banana pudding is spoken for," continuing in a playful banter. I hadn't thought about it again until this week, when I got my own batch and it was delicious and such a sweet gesture that really encouraged me.

Hugs, smiles, small improvements and the kids in general make me love my work and the people I get to know, but a gift of banana pudding will be at the top of my list for awhile.

Ina Garten and coming up for air.

When I got home from work last night, I felt very tired and exhausted to a new and different degree. No joke, I was asleep by 9pm (I am normally a night owl) and couldn't even stay awake to talk to my hubby that night and almost felt as if I was drugged, and had no choice in my state of consciousness.

I awoke to feeling terrible so have been home today "sick" with something of a touch of the flu and a migraine. Quite against this idea, I began driving to pick up a kid around 10am, and had to turn around, just couldn't do it.

So I've been snuggled on the couch, taking naps with the food network in the background, as I have drifted in and out of sleep. I had a dream that I was in the Hamptons with Ina Garten and now awake, still keep thinking I wish we could be friends. She seems like a lovely person and watching her show makes me want to slow down life and move to the beach where I would have time to arrange flowers from the garden (also which I grew), go to gourmet markets to pick out delicacies, and invite friends over for lovely hosted picnics and dinners. Can life really be like that? Would I even like that for long?

This morning when I first "gave in" to my sick day status, I was thinking that this would be good chance for me to catch up on life. Like finishing my paper which is due on Friday. Typing in my monthly progress notes for all my kids for work. Mopping the floor perhaps. Going on a walk since I haven't been able to work out all week. Well, none of that was accomplished because I have felt sicker than I anticipated, which leaves me wishing for a not- so -sick, but still "sick" day or a time in my life at the beach with Ina.

Well, I guess I will take a walk to 7-11 because I need a diet coke and perhaps a magazine and some fresh air.

Yikes.

I haven't written in awhile. While I have had many "blogs" written in my thoughts as I drive around, listen to music, and sit awake at night going to sleep (or not), they have not materialized as being busy has taken over my life. I feel like I come up for gasps of air, and then sink back down with more "things to do". Ugh. 2009 is turning out to be a year of to-do's, working really hard, then being told I need to work harder, and growing intellectually,academically and professionally.

Note: this is not at all fun. I think I might rather it be a year for social growth and personal relaxation. Ha. However, there is a season for everything and know God is stirring in me through all this learning and doing. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all my thoughts because I don't know what they mean or what they "look like"!

If only I had time to "soak it up". That is the problem! Really, I would try to enjoy it more, but hence the "I can't breathe-coming up for air" piece.

This past week, I went to an Ash Wednesday service. I had never been to one of these before but was looking forward to a time to sit and just soak it in. God, quiet, fellowship, something...I came seeking and needed filling up.

Well, the speaker talked about how repentance leads to true joy in salvation. If you have never experienced true repentance, then you cannot experience the joy of the Lord. Why? Because when you are repentant, then you come to the end of all hope in yourself, and know that you need God to save your soul. This is not sad or somber. Not a time for weeping, but a time of overflowing joy, because when we are not enough, Christ is enough, and that is SO great! Make sense? It does to me and that is probably because I feel so inadequate and shitty in myself. Not that I have poor self esteem or confidence - I have a good amount of both- but I know the end of Heather and the beginning of Christ. Really, I am nothing, He is everything. For me, I had to learn the hard way in many things, fall down, fall hard, you get the picture. How do you learn otherwise? Can you know without royally messing up? Or are we all royally messed up just in being? I don't know.

Anyways, at the service the people read together these powerful confessions (take a deep breath) ....

"Most holy and merciful Father: We confess to you and before one another that we have sinned in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind, and strength. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven other, as we have been forgiven. We have been deaf to your call of serve, as Christ served us. We have not been true to the mind of Christ. We have grieved your Holy Spirit. We confess to you, Lord, all our past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives; our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people. We confess our envy of those more fortunate than us, our intemperate love of money and of worldly goods and comforts, and our dishonesty in daily life and work. We confess our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to commend the faith that is within us; our blindness to human need and suffering, and our indifference to poverty, injustice and cruelty. We confess our false judgements, our uncharitable thoughts towards our neighbors, and our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us."

YIKES.

I have kept this close and re-read it several times this week. First, it gets me out of "me". Isn't that always the problem? I love the words and the reminders....

Feast on the words and what they mean. Remember there is so much MORE.

Joy and Sorrow

The more we find out about Jesus, and particularly about his death and resurrection, the more we are then energized by the Spirit to reveal God’s love to the world. In John 20 Jesus breathes on the disciples and says to them, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you. Receive the Holy Spirit.” And suddenly we see the whole vista of what God did in Jesus, through his healing and his suffering, through his parables, his celebrations, and ultimately his agony. And, with that, we discover that the story of Jesus’ ministry is not only the story of what he did in history, but encompasses also the vocation that comes to us in the present: that we should be, in the power of the Spirit, the presence of Jesus for the whole world. This discovery brings the most remarkable joy and the most remarkable sorrow.
This is our vocation: to take up our cross, and be Jesus for the whole world, living with the joy and the sorrow woven into the pattern of our days.

NT Wright, Reflecting the Glory

Lovely Laurie & some mac and cheesy goodness

Nick and Laurie

The new hubby and wifey

My sweet friends and the bride

Beautiful Florida backyard reception

Hello!

Just returned to DC after a quick trip to Orlando....I was able to attend and witness my dear friend Laurie's wedding to Nick Monterosso. It was such a blessing to be there with them as they begin their lives as husband and wife. Wedding vows and ceremonies are different to me now as I am a wife. The vows mean more and sometimes convict me that I am not doing well at upholding my own promises, or makes me feel so blessed with my own marriage, and most of the time probably a combination of all those feelings....I do realize the importance of the words and commitment in a different way. I don't know how you can really understand the magnitude of it when you are up there saying it at the start of your marriage, but as time goes by it obviously becomes more real (in a good way). We've only been doing this for 2 1/2 years and have certainly stumbled and fallen and still don't feel like we "know what we are doing" but most days we can laugh and be grateful and look forward to (hopefully) many more days ahead together and sharing life. Anyways, it was a good reminder of the sacredness of marriage. I am very excited and happy for the Monterosso's!

Laurie is a kindred spirit sort of friend. She does similar work as I do in Detroit, Michigan, working with children in foster care, all in an inner city with so many circumstances that put these kids at risk. I love to talk to her because she "gets it" in a way that only someone working in this field can relate (and no offense to all of you who are not- we need you too!) so we have many conversations.....A few months ago, I was talking to her on the phone and all of the sudden she starting crying and freaking out. She had hit a dog in the road and was trying to figure out if it was alive and if she should go and pick it up to take to an emergency vet. Well, Laurie did end up getting the injured dog in her back seat and taking it to the vet ER, where is subsequently died not only from being hit by the car, but also rat poisoning. Laurie was so upset and distraught, and this story, although sad, describes her passionate and feeling heart!

Laurie and her new hubby live in an inner city Detroit neighborhood. Although she would have to tell you more about it, they will live in an intentional community with other members of their church to live with people they want to serve and share life with....Nick does homeless outreach for his job through a non-profit and they are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus in Detroit.

Although it was a quick weekend trip, we also got to spend some time with the fam and get spoiled by Mom and Dad with big breakfasts and homemade dinners from the grill. It was nice and refreshing. Plus my Mom, who's love language is gifts, always ends up packing my suitcase with random odds and ends like new pj's, shampoo, and fun earrings.

Now the hubby is already away at his job for the week, I am trying to get ready for the week and motivate myself for grand things (stay posted...)

Here is to my friend, Katie, who wants to swap recipes.....Anyone else want to share?

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Macaroni and Cheese with Cauliflower


Cooking with extra-sharp Cheddar lets you use less cheese without giving up flavor. Tender cauliflower adds fiber and vitamin C.

12 ounces multi grain elbow macaroni

1 head cauliflower, roughly chopped

4 slices multi grain bread, torn

1/2 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped

3 tablespoons olive oil

Kosher salt and pepper

1 onion, finely chopped

1 1/2 cups grated extra-sharp Cheddar (6 ounces)

1 1/2 cups reduced-fat sour cream

1/2 cup 1 percent milk

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Heat oven to 400° F. Cook the pasta according to the package directions, adding the cauliflower during the last 3 minutes of cooking time; drain.

Meanwhile, pulse the bread in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. Add the parsley, 2 tablespoons of the oil, and 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper and pulse to combine; set aside.

Return the pasta pot to medium heat and add the remaining tablespoon of oil. Add the onion, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, just until soft, 5 to 7 minutes. Mix in the pasta, cauliflower, cheese, sour cream, milk, and mustard.

Transfer to a shallow 3-quart baking dish, sprinkle with the bread crumbs, and bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes.

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A DC girlfriend, Micah, made this for our small group and it was so yummy I made up my own tonight...Great comfort food with some healthiness "snuck" in....Make it while its still cold outside! Oh and its from http://www.realsimple.com/, my favorite recipe source!

Saturday smatterings....

1. “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."

The wisdom of Henri Nouwen....

In my job, marriage, friendships and family this is what I am working on. Mr. Nouwen always inspires me in his words and writings.

2. Jonathan made me a homemade birthday cake from a box last night and it is still making me happy, as I had it for breakfast and a little more for lunch. It even has sprinkles and is iced perfectly.

3. Funny story about why its good for me work with kids from the week: Woke up with a lovely blemish on my nose, red and inflamed. All day various kids and teens asked me, " What is wrong with your nose, Ms. Heather." The greatest response when I said, "Oh it just a zit that I had when I woke up this morning," kind of reponse, one girl said, "Oh I thought you got your nose pierced!" Ahhh kids, reminders not to take yourself so seriously and to laugh at things that really aren't funny (like facial bumps).

4. Watching food network right now and Giada is making a champagne sangria! Doesn't that sound nice? I have never heard of one but would like to try. Thanks tiny lil' Giada woman.

5. I am starting to plan a real vacation for Jonathan and I. Thinking Costa Rica. Any suggestions? Warm, sunny, tropical and a kinda remote, rustic place to stay is what we are looking for and not too pricey. Help.

Happy Saturday.

Winter Wonderland.

I am okay with winter when it means beautiful snow. I can't help but get really happy and tickled as I am driving around and flakes are falling. Growing up, I saw and played in snow on vacations, but to live day to day life when it snows is still a new adventure. Plus, this is not Michigan or Chicago, where snow is a nightmare. In DC its really not a bother and is more like dancing little flecks spreading joy to people in the world. Or just me. Wish it would stay or dance for me some more tomorrow.

Ice is in the forecast instead. Not as cheery?!

P.S.- The pictures are from our street, the brick building is where we live. "Cute", right? Snow on bare tree branches is my favorite.

Living in the District for Inauguration 2009.

Our 44th President

Freezing and waiting

It was crowded. We were far away but on the mall for this historic event!

The crowds in the city

What a fun weekend to be in DC. While some locals left town, as others "took over the city", I was thrilled to be here and live in the excitement and energy that the crowds brought. Just walking to the gym, like a normal Saturday, Jonathan and I were stopped by an impressive motorcade complete with 12+ cars, vans with secret service officers poking out of the window with large weapons, trucks with spinning satellite dishes on top, and helicopters chopping above. Being in DC, you get used to armored motorcades going by, but this weekend they really stepped them up! Throughout the night, I was awakened by sirens, planes and helicopters ahead. My paranoid self kept saying little prayers, like "This is it" as I heard some large jet noise above me and thinking maybe were were about to get terrorist attacked or something. Well, we survived! No terrorist attack or casualties, made it through the freezing cold and even from being trampled by a crowd, which was actually a possibility trying to leave the national mall after the new President was sworn in.

One of the highlights was the "We are One" Inaugural Celebration Concert which was on Sunday by the Lincoln Memorial. It was a celebrity studded event with musicians (Beyonce, U2, Garth Brooks, John Mellancamp, Usher, Shakira and more) and actors (Tom Hanks, Jack Black, Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, and lots more) who gave moving speeches chronicling the history of our country with quotes from previous presidents and leaders. It was emotional and patriotic. Obama and Biden were there with their families and gave speeched. They broad casted it on HBO and I recommend it, but I'm sure being in the crowd was something hard to capture on television.

We experienced Inauguration Day 20009 with the masses. Our goal was to be on the national mall with a view of the Capital. Done. We were content even though we didn't have tickets or seats, or an actual view of the people on the platform, we did have jumbo trons broadcasting the sound and sights. Plus when you watched the news showing all those "specks" of thousands of people on the mall, we were among them!

Now among the optimism and energy in the crowd, I was angered by every one's reaction as President GW Bush was introduced. Booing, yelling and overall negativity seemed to contradict the "We are One" feeling of anti partisanship and coming together! I get that people don't like Bush, but he was on the way out and deserved the respect of being the President of the United States. Then as his helicopter flew away from the mall, taking him off after the Inauguration was over, everyone was singing, "na na na na hey hey oh goodbye!". I was thinking, "I hope Pres. Bush is opening a nice cold beer as he flew over thinking, "Peace out people!" Although I am excited about a fresh start, I am thankful for the service of any president.

So, if you ever can go to an Inauguration, go! It's a great experience of our freedom to be able to witness the peaceful transfer of power.

Let's pray for the new President and our country during these next years.

Goodbye 2008....

Memories...
Annapolis, MD. Summer 2008.

World Series Game. Philadelphia. October, 2008.

Hiking in Shenandoah with friends.

Our neighborhood.

Capitol. Wow. We really live here.

Lively and Hendricks fam visit us in DC!

Out with Friends in Adams Morgan.

NYC visit for Heather's bday, January, 2008.

Girl's Weekend in the FL panhandle, May 2008. Best friends from High school!

DC Cherry Blossoms.

Our nieces, Ruth Anne and Hannah Kate. Visit to Belle Glade, December 2008.

Dinner with good friends, Atlanta, November 2008.

Las Vegas Anniversary Celebration, September 2008.

Ashley moved to DC! At a Phillies baseball game in the summer.

Lively Fam Beach week. New Symrna Beach, Florida. July, 2008.

Our Lovely Home. Celebrating my dear friend, Amanda's (center), wedding at her bachelorette beach weekend in June.

Mahurin Fam NYC trip to celebrate Ashley's graduation. May 2008.


I don't normally give much attention to New Year's and markings of time such as birthdays and years changing. When I woke up on January 1, 2009, it really didn't feel that different than December 31, 2008, so I don't think I should try to "force" myself to make it seem monumental.

Recognizing the big picture and seeing life more globally is diffifult for me, so I tried to think today about this past year and what is has held.

2008:

-12 months living in DC. A full year of making this area our home and neighborhood.

-Making our condo feel like home with a few renovations and some fresh furniture.

-Turning off the navigation in my car because I know where I am going and drive around a lot.

-A year at my job, meeting and working with probably 30+ kids and families. Growing professionally and my heart being stretched in ways I didn't know possible.

-My social awareness has increased and my political ideals challenged.

-A solid year of marriage, celebrating 2 years in September. Easier than the first year in ways of knowing our "groove", weathering holidays with the other "side", and knowing what to expect in the day to day. Better that you have a foundation and even if something might try to "rock" you, the stability of your partner keeps you safe. Harder in the ways that this is "forever" and that every day together might not be paradise and that one's spouse can be annoying (I think the hardest lesson for me has been the realization that I am actually annoying to him! What, how could my cool self ever be annoying?! I am still in disbelief. Ha.)

-Welcoming my sister to DC in the summer and enjoying time with her as a neighbor and friend. Sharing life as "grown ups" together.

-Vacations skiing in Colorado with my family, Beach time with the Lively fam in the summer, Vegas get away for Jonathan and I in September, a few trips around the Northeast to NYC and Philly and the VA mountains for long weekends, and entertaining friends and family coming to see us in DC.

-New friends and relationships here. Every Tuesday night with ladies for spiritual growth and encouragement, occasional Thursday nights with work friends for "Self Soothing" and fun, meeting some married couple friends to support us in this stage of life, plus keeping in touch with so many good, old friends who are so dear, even though far away.

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It has been a good year. As mentioned before, I have never been so "stable" before in my life with no major change (that I know about) lurking in the near future. While I used to find this to be entrapping and suffocating, I am learning to embrace being present in the here and now. For the first time ever in my life, I don't have an "exit strategy" for my current life, whether that be a move, change in job, relationship, etc, and I am happy about it. Seeing relatives and friends in Florida over the holidays, I could honestly say, I love DC and our life there and don't see us leaving anytime soon (or ever). Of course, I don't control all that happens in life and we will accept whatever God has for us, and I know life can bring surprises, in tragedies and joys, so I pray for continued grace to embrace all that could be.

Now for 2009, some challenges and hopes....

-Growth in my career. I am currently taking grad classes that I need to pursue licensure and hope 2009 holds the key to becoming a licensed professional counselor in Washington, DC. This will lead to great job opportunities and growth. For me, as I grow professionally, this stretches all parts of my personality, since I work with people and systems. The more I know and experience in the field, the more it influence my whole person, in and out of work. I don't compartmentalize myself well.

-Maturity in my marriage. Learning how to be less selfish, more thoughtful, more intentional with our time together and all that God has given us with our finances, resources and time.

-Mentoring project in DC. I have thoughts and desires for creating a mentoring program for kiddos in DC. Basically, I see a lot of kids who need mentors to invest in their lives (waiting lists for 1+ years) and I know a lot of great adults who I think would love to share some of their lives with a child. Now I just have to figure out the logistics of pairing these people together! Anyone with experiences/resources/contacts for non-profit development and mentoring, please let me know. I am prayerful as I explore this conviction and leading in my life to begin such a venture. This will also allow me to continue to invest in my community here in DC.

-Learning how to better hold onto old traditions and then also make new traditions. I had a hard time this past holiday season going through the motions of old family practices which are beginning to feel more foreign and dead. I want to have new traditions with my husband and in our own life. But I hate to hurt feelings or disappoint our loved ones and families. Not sure how to reconcile my wants and needs and all those of everyone else. With the holidays almost a year away, I already feel anxiety thinking about it and I don't think that is what the holidays should be about...Maybe another year will give me some answers.

-Church. I am prayerful that this year will give us direction in our involvement in a church. We both have issues with most churches (not the body of Christ, but the meetings of the institutional church) and not sure what to do, what to think, where to go, if to go, etc.

-Continuing to learn how to be free in Christ but also disciplined and intentional in seeking God and His plan for my life. Learning how to sanctified but not under the law. Being real in my shortcomings and vulnerable with others to reflect my need for God and His greatness in meeting my need.

I have had glimpses of things already ahead in 2009, and have been delightfully reminded of God's faithfulness. I am so easy to doubt and then always surprised (when I shouldn't be) when God is ahead of the game and knows myself and my desires more than me.....May you also be delighted and surprised at all that is ahead for you in 2009, to have joy admist sadness and perspective to be thankful admist the celebrations, that there is a season for everything and our place to be content whatever season life might bring.....and to know that one would not be as good, or bad, without the other to compare it to, and that life's richness comes from a variety of experiences and perspectives. Cheers to 2009!