Anniversary #3.

September 30, 2006.

Heather and Jonathan married in Orlando, Florida, surrounded by dearest friends and family, and blown away at God's faithfulness at bringing them together, surviving years of dating with ups and downs, and ready to start a new adventure as husband and wife.

September 30, 2009.

Three years of marriage! I am big on celebrating every anniverary....Because divorce is so common and an easy way "out" in our society, so I am happy to report our committment and growth as we continue this adventure together in shared life. It is not always easy, but so worth it.

So, we started our marriage in Atlanta. Jonathan working in town while I worked opposite hours at a restaurant. We had fun sharing an apartment, talking long walks in Peachtree Hills, cooking lots of dinners in our new pots and pans, and swims at the Tuscany pool at night before bed.

Then came, "Let's move to DC", drive up for a weekend to confirm our decision, go to open houses, decide to buy a 580 square foot condo (after being in it for 5 minutes on previously mentioned weekend in DC to decide the next years of our lives), then I try to find a job, I do find a job, and in June 2007, we moved to DC.

So, we are still in our tiny but lovely condo. I am still at the said job, which I happen to love and many opportunities have come through this job to grow me professionally and personally, and we love the city, exploring the many things to do and being in this part of the country, close to many big cities, the mountains, the beaches, and such amazing weather with tastes of all the seasons. Our favorite thing to do is put on our running shoes and take some money and walk around DC all day....

Jonathan and I went to California this past weekend to celebrate his 28th birthday and our anniversary. With our wedding 5 days after Jonathan's birthday, the two seem to be combined, but Jonathan doesn't seem to mind. (At least this year, I remembered it WAS his birthday. The year of the wedding, I don't think I even mentioned it with "wedding" on my mind). It was such a special trip and we loved having time away together. So thankful!

What have I learned during these 3 years?

Let's see. Buying a house is stressful and hard but we survived and now its ok. Moving and a lot of transitions is hard during your first year of marriage. Being settled and not "on the move" is actually nice and not "boring", as I once would have imagined. Jonathan is far more faithful, loving, patient, giving and a servant than I ever would have guessed or wanted. He is so good to me. Marriage will definitly grow you up. There is not much room for selfishness (you both won't be happy) and you have to give in on the little things like not getting AS annoyed when your partner doesn't totally shut the kitchen cabinets (his pet peeve, my eternal flaw) or when whiskers are left on the sink every Monday morning after this sink was just spic and spanned cleaned on Sunday (UGH! My pet peeve...his whiskers!). But we've learned to laugh and yes we might bicker but its done with love and humor and the security of marriage and being assured of Jonathan's love and committment to me has mellowed me out and let me put my energy into other areas of life, such as work. For us both, this time in life seems to be filled with work, but we value our family the most and are always trying to figure out what that looks like together, today and in the future.

So, I am contemplative and thankful for my marriage and sweet husband. I know I don't deserve anything and it is by God's grace He has given us blessings and each other for pleasure and His purposes. Not sure what our 4th year will hold, but glad to be in this with Jonathan and our faithful God.

Here are some pictures....Our wedding was so darn fun and I have been thinking about how awesome it was all day...So memorable and amazing. I wish I could be there again tonight :)I wouldn't change a thing.

To the Church (us).

I recently read Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis. While this book has been out for awhile, I just now got to it. Honestly, the ideas didn't seem too "new" to me and it wasn't my favorite of books but I got through it quickly and the epilogue really impacted me. I am glad to have read it to get to the end in which Mr. Bell wrote to us,

"One summer when I was in high school, my family and I were on vacation and decided to visit a church in the town where we were staying. At the end of the service, the pastor asked if anybody wanted to become a Christian. he said that people could repeat a prayer after him and become a Christian, right there at that moment in their seats. he said that if people repeated this prayer after him, they could be sure that when they died, they would go to heaven and not hell. He then asked everybody to bow their heads and close their eyes, and said the prayer, leaving space after each sentence for those who wanted to repeat the prayer after him. When he finished, he told everybody to keep their eyes closed and heads bowed. He then asked for the people who had prayed the prayer to raise their hands wherever they were seated. This way he would know who they were so he could pray for them. He said that nobody but him would be looking.

The pastor then said, "I see that hand over there. Thank you. I See a hand in the back. I see some young women in the front..." And he proceeded to acknowledge the hands that were going up all around the room.

During this entire time I had kept my eyes open and was watching the whole thing.

I didn't see any hands go up.

Several years ago my dad reminded me of that day. He told me that he had his eyes open the whole time as well - only he was not watching for hands. He was watching me. He said that when he realized what was going on and that I was observing it all, he had this sick feeling that I would walk away from God and church and faith forever. He kept thinking, I've lost Rob, I've lost Rob.

I am like you. I have seen plenty done in the name of God that I'm sure God doesn't want anything to do with. I have lots of reasons for bailing on the whole thing.

I am also like you because I have a choice. To become bitter, cynical, jaded, and hard. Anybody can do that. A lot have. Hatred is a powerful, unifying force. And there is a lot to be repulsed by.

Or, like you, I can reclaim my innocence. We can choose to reclaim our innocence together. We can insist that hope is real and that a group of people who love God and others really can change the world. We can reclaim our idealism and our belief and our confidence in the big ideals that stir us deep in our bones. We can commit all the more to being the kinds of people who are learning how to do what Jesus teaches us.

I am not going to stop dreaming of a new kind of faith for the millions of us who need it. I am not going to stop dreaming of new kinds of communities that put the love of God and the brilliance of Jesus on display in honest, compelling ways. I am not going to stop dreaming of new ways to live lives of faith and creativity and meaning and significance.

But I can't do it alone. I need you. We need you. We need you to rediscover wonder and awe. We need you to believe that it is really possible. We need you to join us.

It's better that way.

It's what Jesus had in mind. "

As I pray to not have a cynical heart towards children, mental health, systems of care which are supposed to take care of children, christians also who are supposed to take care of said children, and then the church in general, I need so much grace. For me it is so much easier to love those who might seem "far from the pew" but my own Christian brother, the preacher, the so called devout church goer, I sometimes find harder to love. But there is no excuse for any cynicism, bitterness or careless words. God will endlessly renew me to give grace, as I always receive grace from Him, I just need to ask and be humble, before God and everyone I interact with everyday and even on Sundays (when I go to church, which is a whole other topic but related!).

The wise Ms. Day

People say, ‘What is the sense of our small effort?’

They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time. A pebble cast into a pond causes ripples that spread in all directions. Each one of our thoughts, words and deeds is like that. No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless.

There’s too much work to do.

-Dorothy Day-

I have been inspired lately by the life and words of Dorothy Day (thanks jonnali!)....Her words above resonate with me, as often I seek to move mountains and make big changes into lives of hurting people, or my own life and situations, or those that I love...However, Ms. Day was so wise and I think she is right on. Often, if we think the challenge is BIG we never get going because it seems so intimidating and daunting. A smaller task we are more apt to move on and feel confident about accomplishing it. But let us not get discouraged by the enormity of the work to do, people to love, things to change or things that are "wrong", but MOVE now and in the PRESENT. Let your conversations be seasoned with salt. Do not speak idle words (read James!). Speak forth blessings and not curses. When you touch someone (the shoulder of a child, kisses on your baby) bless them in the name of Jesus. The great thing about this is that you don't have to tell someone you are blessing them, but can do it quietly and discreetly. The kids I worked with are blessed in the name of Jesus, but they don't know it...My hand on their shoulder is a way to impart blessing (if I am intentional about it)..Oh the Father has been faithful to give us gifts that we need on this earth and to have access to everything Jesus had on this earth in His ministry. The Holy Spirit! Dear Lord, help us USE what YOU have GIVEN for YOUR glory and redemption in this world. Let us have energy, purpose and renewal. I need You to fill me up!

So Long Sweet Summer.

Have you ever heard that Dashboard Confessional song?

It reminds me of younger days. Specifically the year after college, after my friends and I traveled Europe and then I moved to Atlanta....I was so carefree, yet I didn't know it, but life was full and good, filled with adventure, unknowns and ideas for all that was ahead. While in Europe, on many of the train rides, I listened to a song such as this and journaled and thought a lot.

Pondering, as I watched Europe go by through a train window. I am still that same 22 (or was it 23?) year old gal in some ways but yet so different. Hopefully, in a good way different. But I sometimes yearn for those carefree days. No husband. No morgage. No real job. Grad school, yes, but not compareable to work.work.work. I didn't know the hurt in the world. My reality was different than the reality I know about now. The stories of kids and broken families that I have heard since then. My outlook was sunnier perhaps. But heartache is the same, younger or older. Things with Jonathan were unsettled. I dated looking for excitement but it wasn't satisfying. I had inner struggles of how to relate psychology and my studies to my belief in Christ and how He is working in the world. I was still my self with my own issues, 23 or 27.5 years old. Struggling, falling, needing grace. And more grace. Sweet fellowship was a blessing then. I had dear friends in Atlanta. Many dinners with laughing and wine, walks around the city talking, shopping and fun. I had more time for friends and people and that always means a more fulfilled life and time. Girl roommates watching sex and the city all day, walks around Piedmont Park, dinners with unlimited wine refills.

Ahhh. So many seasons in life, all with their sweet and yet hard moments.

Anyways, this song takes me back there and it reminds me of days like this, where summer is fading and a fall chill is in the air. The sun was gone today and I ordered wool slippers from LLBean....Yikes. Summer is officially gone, huh? White pants folded and put at the top of the closet. Summer concerts done. The pools closed. Tan fades. Vacation days consumed.

Here is to a new season...I'm reluctant to let go of summer but maybe the beautiful leaves and cool weather will romance me. I hope so.