Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mama T.

I mean, Mother Teresa.

We've all heard of her and seen pictures of her with orphans surrounding her, right? But have you ever read anything she has wrote? Or really "heard" what she said?

I am blown away by some quotes, so I thought I'd share. My day was intense. The world of social work and counseling can be unforgiving and take, take, take...To fill myself up I was looking for some inspiration and "Mama T" shed the love and grace of God with her words (reflective of God) to my weary heart.

In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love.

Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus.

Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.

I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.

I do not pray for success, I ask for faithfulness.

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.

The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it.

We can do no great things, only small things with great love.

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action.


They are all so simple yet I miss it everyday. Lord, help me simplify. Help me love. Give me grace. Love. Love. Love. And then some more. More patience. More smiles. Less irritation. Kindness. Not because it is given to me by a person, but because it has been given to me by You. That is all I need. There is no reason to not EVER be kind. Help me. To not get so tired. To keep going. In Your name. For Your glory. Because each of "them" is you, your child, your world. So broken. So dirty. So weak. As am I. I do not come from a lofty place where I cannot relate. I am as low as anyone. Let me not think highly of myself. I am nothing. A dust in the wind. Yet I have hands, a smile, my time, my life, to give, to be with, to share. Not to judge. Not to look down on. Not to condone. Love.Love.Love. That's it. From my home and family to every home I go into for work or person I meet on the street.

Friday, February 12, 2010

and I continue to learn (lingering effects of a snowstorm).

I have learned to be still. To slow down. That life CAN slow down. Things to do aren't really THAT important. If they don't get done, it's really okay. I don't have to do, check things off, and stay on schedule.

DC is a busy place. Even though I consider myself having a lot "to do" in this city, I probably fall on like the lower 90th percentile of busy people. To get a double date with couple friends, often we must plan months in advance. People have things every night whether its a kickball league, a happy hour, a book club, or something with work, most people don't have many free nights. Plus, people work A LOT. I've learn to "protect" my time in the evenings. That most nights I prefer to come home, have dinner, maybe go to the gym, and be alone. And that is okay. I like it. Yes, I wish Jonathan was here to "do not much" alongside me. But for the most part, I'm content.

However, the snow storm still "slowed" me down. So thank you, snow. Thank you, DC, for being so slow and helpless to remove the snow. Part of me feels like I "lost" a week of my life. But then the other half realizes that a huge part of me is "lost" in the normal week of stress, to do's and long days of obligations.

My commute to work was quite stressful for many reasons (and took 2.5 hours)...As I metroed with the masses, which can induce panic, I tried to remain in my "slow" state of mind and realize that, I haven't been to work all week, if I am two hours late, its not really that big of a deal.

Bethany Dillon's "I am Yours" helped me start the day right despite the huge barrier of metro enabling me to transport in a timely manner. I love Bethany's lyrics, they always speak to me "right where I am". Sometimes praise songs are too "lofty" for me on a Friday, hellish way to work. Ya know?

I am Yours (listen here)

Every darkened crevice
Every hidden place
Every secret that’s inside of me
Though I run from You
I don’t get very far
In my weakness You speak tenderly

You heal this heart of stone
I am not my own

I am Yours....

How can I resist a perfect love like this?
It’s like sunshine and the smell of spring
When I’m covered in Your forgiveness
God, it’s overwhelming

You have called me out of shadows....
Out of darkness into light....
Hemmed in by the hands of mercy....
I’m completely satisfied



*PS: there might be MORE lessons learned. Yes, being "still" for a week and having my head and heart so open and free means I am still processing many thoughts.....sometimes I wish I could shut "them" out too. Maybe that is why I throw myself into work and others most of the time? So I can't hear myself (and God). Hmmm. Interesting, Dr. Freud.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Things to do in a continuing Snow Storm.

Well, I'm still here. And it's still snowing. I went into work yesterday and one thing a snow storm is "good" for is appreciating WORK and being out of the home for a few hours.

Here are some contemplations and things to do if stuck inside while its blizzarding:

-Watch tivoed episodes of "Oprah". I am learning a lot. Geisha's, nuns, sexual predators...this is a fine education! For example, Geisha means "art" and unlike the myths I had believed, sexual favors are not apart of being a geisha. That is an insult to those who practice this art and lifestyle. Moving on to nuns, did you know that their "frock" is symbolic of a wedding dress? Because they are married to Christ! I didn't know that. One young nun (with a sense of humor, I might add) said that being married to Jesus is hard because if the relationship starts to go downhill, she knows its her fault! I actually laughed. And ya know, isn't that true? He never leaves me. I just choose to distance myself from Him sometimes. But wow, vows of celibacy, poverty and obedience. No make up, tweezers, hair styles....I know we are not supposed to be completely indulgent, but I do take joy in a new outfit and having my hair "did".

-Oh and sexual predators, wow. GREAT episode. I've worked with sexual predators in therapy and lots of people who are survivors of sexual abuse and I loved the information shared to clear up ideas of how sexual abuse takes place and myths that victims BELIEVE. It was a powerful episode. I won't go into much more details, because I am always "that" girl who suddenly brings up sexual abuse at happy hour and all of the sudden, everyone is like, ddoooo duuuuu (i need a sound effect), here is "Debbie downer". Ha ha. That is why I LOVE and NEED my social worker friends, our happy hours are full of such "peppy" but honest and tough conversation (and venting and support). It can be lonely to be so fully aware of the suffering, pain, unfair and disgusting things that happen in the world....hence, why I often like to "bust" the bubble of happy, go lucky happy hours :) Ha. I am kinda joking. And my job effects my personality and self in every way possible. I can't leave "untouched", nor would I want too.

Check it out. I think it's important. Link is here.

- Eating pie for breakfast. Because I am very sick of cereal (this has been the staple of my "snow" diet for the past 5 days) and one of our favorite restaurants was open on my trudge home from the metro last night, so I picked up two pieces of pie to go. One for last night, and one for breakfast. So I have on my fleece polka dot pj's, favorite ugg slippers (bday present from Jonathan and new must have for winter!), hot coffee, and blueberry pie. Yum.

-I'm very glad my sister lives so close. We trudged (I've already used this word but there really is not a better way to describe it) to the gym on Monday, during its window of being open, to get out our antsyness and then went to several grocery stores to try to find some food. The shelves are pretty bare and there weren't many fresh veggies/meat to buy...But I managed to stock up on cereal, milk and some bread. PB and J's. Cereal. Frozen Pizza. Canned soups. Beer. Wine. Coffee. Crystal light pink lemonade. These are things one eats during multiple snow storms.

-Go to lots of websites and get caught up on all kinds of gossip, blogs, some meaningful and some meaningless. For example, check out this one for all kinds of Bachelor spoilers and commentary. I think its hilarious!! Especially the part about Vienna and Florida....She is from the same town, Sanford, that my mother grew up in, and her boat right with alligators and turtles is so FLORIDA. I laughed and at this guy, reality Steve's, commentary. I've always been a sucker for the show because of the entertainment factor even though I think its unrealistic and completely demoralizing for women. However, in college, we had a personal link to the Bachelor (Jesse Palmer, who used to live in Jonathan's apartment and his secret friend, Jenny, who was on the show and the cousin of my best friend, Lauren) and on this round, Corrie, went to my high school. And Corrie was awesome! Even though I know her big sister much better, I was proud. So that kinda justifies it, right?

-Movies. So far I've watched Coraline (cute), The Proposal (much better than i was expecting!), The Class (foreign and good), Revolutionary Road (again, i love it, but most people think its depressing), Yes Man (i liked the message and laughed)....

-TV shows. Well, I already admitted that I watch the Bachelor. I really don't get "into" many shows. Never watched Lost, or 24, or other cult favorites. I have been known to tivo, "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and a new series I just saw for the first time, "Life Unexpected". Pretty good, too. Ever seen them? And Gossip Girl is a completely guilty pleasure that I would put up there with the Bachelor. Eek. I wonder now that I am 28 if I should start watching shows that focus more on adults living actual realistic lives instead of teenagers? Hmm. I just can't get into them...I am drawn to "Criminal Minds" and "Intervention" but I don't think that will help me with my "happy hour social skills" deficits.

Well, now that I've confessed my activities for the past several days, I think I should read, do work and try to "revive" the brain cells that I've neglected or let die. I will keep you posted.

Happy snow day. Or sun day. Or humid day with limitless sunshine (if you are a beloved Florida relative or friend). Or just a regular Wednesday.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Snowtorious B.I.G.

I love the snow! Winter Wonderland in our backyard.
Car is officially buried.
Scene of the big snowball fight.
Jonathan showing his skill in snowball launching.
Dupont Circle Snowball fight.

The title is one name I've heard DCer's calling this Blizzard in 2010 and it made me laugh. So there you go.


We ventured out of the house to check out a huge snowball fight at Dupont Circle organized via Twitter and Facebook. It was quite a scene. They predicted about 4,000 people were in attendance launching snow balls amidst the scenic fountain and landmark.


I like that DC has spunk in a snow storm. I guess its because we are lucky enough to live close enough to walk to places that remain open for people similar to us, one Starbucks was open with a line out the door and the few bars/restaurants open were packed. There is no way you could drive anywhere. See the picture with our car. Well, you can't really tell its a car. I'm not sure how we will dig out because I don't know where the snow will go! DC is supposed to have below freezing temps this upcoming week, so it won't be melting. It shall be interesting! Maybe Jonathan will be trapped here and be here all week. That sounds fun.


With all this snow, I can't help but be awed by its beauty. It's blinding when you go outside because its so white and the sun's reflection is bright. Upon returning to the condo, it takes our eyes a bit to adjust.


"Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow"
-Isaiah 1:18b


As the snow covers dirty streets, old cars parked along the side, and unkempt gardens to make any place full of beauty, the blood of Christ also covers us to give us such spotlessness, amidst our ugliness, depravity and utter sinfulness. I am thankful for such a powerful reminder and image through our snow covered city. Happy Saturday.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Jesus.

My faith has changed over the years. I can't really wrap my head around it. But I am okay with that. The Lord has used so many different kinds of experiences to make me know Him more. And my idea of Him and how I relate to Him and interpret Him and live my life for Him constantly changes as well.

I don't think we are supposed to know all the answers and sometimes I get frustrated when Christians and theologians ask questions and sit around talking about things that I don't think God intends us to know and that we never WILL know, so why waste time talking about them and trying to figure it out? Isn't it more effective as the church and God's hands and feet on earth to DO things for His Kingdom, rather than THINK about them?

" For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God"...."The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise , that they are futile" I Corinthians 3:19.

We are all fools. Seriously. As I realize my own foolishness, I often search for things I can know and confirm. In a culture where social justice is becoming a politically correct cause, where I am surrounded by really, really good and hardworking and the best intentioned people who give their lives to help people, and a society in which the "grey" areas are becoming absolutes (so there are not any absolutes) I often find myself sliding down a slippery slope and not sure where to stop and catch myself (and if I want to ). Do I really believe? Can I really take a stand? What about all of this grey? What is true?

This being said, I read the following and I needed it. Sometimes, because I am so "in" this world I start to become *of* the world, yet the Lord is good to always bring me back to Him and the truth. My identity in Christ is always there even if I am not mindful of it 100% of the time. I am grateful to be in this place in life, not under the church doors, not surrounded by Christians and people "like" me, because I am being challenged more than ever before. Stretched. Grown. I have to decide things and stand up for beliefs despite opposition. It's not the "cool" thing and come on, even as adults, we have peer pressure. I remember writing this quote in my journal as a middle schooler, "Some people love to dwell near church with choir and steeple bell. But I want to run a rescue station a yard from the gates of Hell," (missionary, CT Studd). Maybe I knew a legalistic, southern baptist church bubble without any kind of diversityand "real world" wouldn't last for long and God was moving me. It's funny because if I would have had it my way I would have continued my desired "bubble" into college. Instead the Lord yanked that "dream" away from me and put me at the University of Florida, which was not where I had imagined myself for billions of reasons. That is another story, but God is faithful and I'm glad He is in charge of my life and not me.

So here it is.... A powerful reminder of all we have in Jesus.

A Jesus Manifesto for the 21st Century Church

by Leonard Sweet and Frank Viola


Christians have made the gospel about so many things … things other than Christ.

Jesus Christ is the gravitational pull that brings everything together and gives them significance, reality, and meaning. Without him, all things lose their value. Without him, all things are but detached pieces floating around in space.

It is possible to emphasize a spiritual truth, value, virtue, or gift, yet miss Christ . . . who is the embodiment and incarnation of all spiritual truth, values, virtues, and gifts.

Seek a truth, a value, a virtue, or a spiritual gift, and you have obtained something dead.

Seek Christ, embrace Christ, know Christ, and you have touched him who is Life. And in him resides all Truth, Values, Virtues and Gifts in living color. Beauty has its meaning in the beauty of Christ, in whom is found all that makes us lovely and loveable.

What is Christianity? It is Christ. Nothing more. Nothing less. Christianity is not an ideology. Christianity is not a philosophy. Christianity is the “good news” that Beauty, Truth and Goodness are found in a person. Biblical community is founded and found on the connection to that person. Conversion is more than a change in direction; it’s a change in connection. Jesus’ use of the ancient Hebrew word shubh, or its Aramaic equivalent, to call for “repentance” implies not viewing God from a distance, but entering into a relationship where God is command central of the human connection.

In that regard, we feel a massive disconnection in the church today. Thus this manifesto.

We believe that the major disease of the church today is JDD: Jesus Deficit Disorder. The person of Jesus is increasingly politically incorrect, and is being replaced by the language of “justice,” “the kingdom of God,” “values,” and “leadership principles.”

In this hour, the testimony that we feel God has called us to bear centers on the primacy of the Lord Jesus Christ. Specifically . . .

1. The center and circumference of the Christian life is none other than the person of Christ. All other things, including things related to him and about him, are eclipsed by the sight of his peerless worth. Knowing Christ is Eternal Life. And knowing him profoundly, deeply, and in reality, as well as experiencing his unsearchable riches, is the chief pursuit of our lives, as it was for the first Christians. God is not so much about fixing things that have gone wrong in our lives as finding us in our brokenness and giving us Christ.

2. Jesus Christ cannot be separated from his teachings. Aristotle says to his disciples, “Follow my teachings.” Socrates says to his disciples, “Follow my teachings.” Buddha says to his disciples, “Follow my meditations.” Confucius says to his disciples, “Follow my sayings.” Muhammad says to his disciples, “Follow my noble pillars.” Jesus says to his disciples, “Follow me.” In all other religions, a follower can follow the teachings of its founder without having a relationship with that founder. Not so with Jesus Christ. The teachings of Jesus cannot be separated from Jesus himself. Jesus Christ is still alive and he embodies his teachings. It is a profound mistake, therefore, to treat Christ as simply the founder of a set of moral, ethical, or social teaching. The Lord Jesus and his teaching are one. The Medium and the Message are One. Christ is the incarnation of the Kingdom of God and the Sermon on the Mount.

3. God’s grand mission and eternal purpose in the earth and in heaven centers in Christ . . . both the individual Christ (the Head) and the corporate Christ (the Body). This universe is moving towards one final goal – the fullness of Christ where He shall fill all things with himself. To be truly missional, then, means constructing one’s life and ministry on Christ. He is both the heart and bloodstream of God’s plan. To miss this is to miss the plot; indeed, it is to miss everything.

4. Being a follower of Jesus does not involve imitation so much as it does implantation and impartation. Incarnation–the notion that God connects to us in baby form and human touch—is the most shocking doctrine of the Christian religion. The incarnation is both once-and-for-all and ongoing, as the One “who was and is to come” now is and lives his resurrection life in and through us. Incarnation doesn’t just apply to Jesus; it applies to every one of us. Of course, not in the same sacramental way. But close. We have been given God’s “Spirit” which makes Christ “real” in our lives. We have been made, as Peter puts it, “partakers of the divine nature.” How, then, in the face of so great a truth can we ask for toys and trinkets? How can we lust after lesser gifts and itch for religious and spiritual thingys? We’ve been touched from on high by the fires of the Almighty and given divine life. A life that has passed through death – the very resurrection life of the Son of God himself. How can we not be fired up?

To put it in a question: What was the engine, or the accelerator, of the Lord’s amazing life? What was the taproot or the headwaters of his outward behavior? It was this: Jesus lived by an indwelling Father. After his resurrection, the passage has now moved. What God the Father was to Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ is to you and to me. He’s our indwelling Presence, and we share in the life of Jesus’ own relationship with the Father. There is a vast ocean of difference between trying to compel Christians to imitate Jesus and learning how to impart an implanted Christ. The former only ends up in failure and frustration. The latter is the gateway to life and joy in our daying and our dying. We stand with Paul: “Christ lives in me.” Our life is Christ. In him do we live, breathe, and have our being. “What would Jesus do?” is not Christianity. Christianity asks: “What is Christ doing through me … through us? And how is Jesus doing it?” Following Jesus means “trust and obey” (respond), and living by his indwelling life through the power of the Spirit.

5. The “Jesus of history” cannot be disconnected from the “Christ of faith.” The Jesus who walked the shores of Galilee is the same person who indwells the church today. There is no disconnect between the Jesus of Mark’s Gospel and the incredible, all-inclusive, cosmic Christ of Paul’s letter to the Colossians. The Christ who lived in the first century has a pre-existence before time. He also has a post-existence after time. He is Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, A and Z, all at the same time. He stands in the future and at the end of time at the same moment that He indwells every child of God. Failure to embrace these paradoxical truths has created monumental problems and has diminished the greatness of Christ in the eyes of God’s people.

6. It’s possible to confuse “the cause” of Christ with the person of Christ. When the early church said “Jesus is Lord,” they did not mean “Jesus is my core value.” Jesus isn’t a cause; he is a real and living person who can be known, loved, experienced, enthroned and embodied. Focusing on his cause or mission doesn’t equate focusing on or following him. It’s all too possible to serve “the god” of serving Jesus as opposed to serving him out of an enraptured heart that’s been captivated by his irresistible beauty and unfathomable love. Jesus led us to think of God differently, as relationship, as the God of all relationship.

7. Jesus Christ was not a social activist nor a moral philosopher. To pitch him that way is to drain his glory and dilute his excellence. Justice apart from Christ is a dead thing. The only battering ram that can storm the gates of hell is not the cry of Justice, but the name of Jesus. Jesus Christ is the embodiment of Justice, Peace, Holiness, Righteousness. He is the sum of all spiritual things, the “strange attractor” of the cosmos. When Jesus becomes an abstraction, faith loses its reproductive power. Jesus did not come to make bad people good. He came to make dead people live.

8. It is possible to confuse an academic knowledge or theology about Jesus with a personal knowledge of the living Christ himself. These two stand as far apart as do the hundred thousand million galaxies. The fullness of Christ can never be accessed through the frontal lobe alone. Christian faith claims to be rational, but also to reach out to touch ultimate mysteries. The cure for a big head is a big heart.

Jesus does not leave his disciples with CliffsNotes for a systematic theology. He leaves his disciples with breath and body.

Jesus does not leave his disciples with a coherent and clear belief system by which to love God and others. Jesus gives his disciples wounds to touch and hands to heal.

Jesus does not leave his disciples with intellectual belief or a “Christian worldview.” He leaves his disciples with a relational faith.

Christians don’t follow a book. Christians follow a person, and this library of divinely inspired books we call “The Holy Bible” best help us follow that person. The Written Word is a map that leads us to The Living Word. Or as Jesus himself put it, “All Scripture testifies of me.” The Bible is not the destination; it’s a compass that points to Christ, heaven’s North Star.

The Bible does not offer a plan or a blueprint for living. The “good news” was not a new set of laws, or a new set of ethical injunctions, or a new and better PLAN. The “good news” was the story of a person’s life, as reflected in The Apostle’s Creed. The Mystery of Faith proclaims this narrative: “Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again.” The meaning of Christianity does not come from allegiance to complex theological doctrines, but a passionate love for a way of living in the world that revolves around following Jesus, who taught that love is what makes life a success . . . not wealth or health or anything else: but love. And God is love.

9. Only Jesus can transfix and then transfigure the void at the heart of the church. Jesus Christ cannot be separated from his church. While Jesus is distinct from his Bride, he is not separate from her. She is in fact his very own Body in the earth. God has chosen to vest all of power, authority, and life in the living Christ. And God in Christ is only known fully in and through his church. (As Paul said, “The manifold wisdom of God – which is Christ – is known through the ekklesia.”)

The Christian life, therefore, is not an individual pursuit. It’s a corporate journey. Knowing Christ and making him known is not an individual prospect. Those who insist on flying life solo will be brought to earth, with a crash. Thus Christ and his church are intimately joined and connected. What God has joined together, let no person put asunder. We were made for life with God; our only happiness is found in life with God. And God’s own pleasure and delight is found therein as well.

10. In a world which sings, “Oh, who is this Jesus?” and a church which sings, “Oh, let’s all be like Jesus,” who will sing with lungs of leather, “Oh, how we love Jesus!”

If Jesus could rise from the dead, we can at least rise from our bed, get off our couches and pews, and respond to the Lord’s resurrection life within us, joining Jesus in what he’s up to in the world. We call on others to join us—not in removing ourselves from planet Earth, but to plant our feet more firmly on the Earth while our spirits soar in the heavens of God’s pleasure and purpose. We are not of this world, but we live in this world for the Lord’s rights and interests. We, collectively, as the ekklesia of God, are Christ in and to this world.

May God have a people on this earth who are a people of Christ, through Christ, and for Christ. A people of the cross. A people who are consumed with God’s eternal passion, which is to make his Son preeminent, supreme, and the head over all things visible and invisible. A people who have discovered the touch of the Almighty in the face of his glorious Son. A people who wish to know only Christ and him crucified, and to let everything else fall by the wayside. A people who are laying hold of his depths, discovering his riches, touching his life, and receiving his love, and making HIM in all of his unfathomable glory known to others.

The two of us may disagree about many things—be they ecclesiology, eschatology, soteriology, not to mention economics, globalism and politics.

But in our two most recent books—From Eternity to Here and So Beautiful—we have sounded forth a united trumpet. These books are the Manifests to this Manifesto. They each present the vision that has captured our hearts and that we wish to impart to the Body of Christ— “This ONE THING I know” (Jn.9:25) that is the ONE THING that unites us all:

Jesus the Christ.

Christians don’t follow Christianity; Christians follow Christ.

Christians don’t preach themselves; Christians proclaim Christ.

Christians don’t point people to core values; Christians point people to the cross.

Christians don’t preach about Christ: Christians preach Christ.

Over 300 years ago a German pastor wrote a hymn that built around the Name above all names:

Ask ye what great thing I know, that delights and stirs me so?
What the high reward I win? Whose the name I glory in?
Jesus Christ, the crucified.

This is that great thing I know; this delights and stirs me so:
faith in him who died to save, His who triumphed o’er the grave:
Jesus Christ, the crucified.



Jesus Christ – the crucified, resurrected, enthroned, triumphant, living Lord.

He is our Pursuit, our Passion, and our Life.

Amen.