Monday, April 13, 2009

Day by day.

Hi. I'm still here.

I haven't thought of anything to write about recently .

These past few weeks have been good. My parents came last weekend to DC to visit Ash, Jonathan and I. We had a nice visit with cherry blossoms and a day trip to Annapolis for some blue crabs and a more laid back atmosphere. This weekend I spent some time with work peeps, went to see fireworks for the ending of the cherry blossom festival, and then shared brunch with some friends on Easter.

Work is busy. Kids still have issues. I try to help them. Sometimes I feel like I am...Other times I feel clueless, untrained, and unworthy to even talk to them about these issues and just pray I don't harm them, more than hurt them! Working with human hearts and souls, filled with hurt and pain, is messy work. While I have read many a text book and continue to learn as much as I can there are times when there might not be an "answer", yet I am "with" these dear children and try to share in their life and experience with as much love and grace as I can muster. There is nothing greater I could try to pour myself into and I am thankful that these families are in my life. I hope they know that they teach me so much and give me so much. I should tell them. Then there are so many boundaries of professionalism that keep me separated from them in certain ways, which is good for us both, but my heart often has no boundaries in my care for these little ones. My parents always talk about me turning democrat, well if it means loving and wanting to care for others then I have been pegged. Isn't that the heart of Christ? To give to those who have not? Who am I (or you) to say who deserves it and who does not? I know I do not deserve anything. Only through the righteousness of Christ can I stand before my Lord.

My spirit feels kinda flat. I am content. But this season does not feel exciting, but I guess they should not always be full of fun and anticipation. Perseverance, quiet diligence, dutifulness. That is how most of my days are lately. Jonathan is still traveling and if you know us, work issues with him seem to drone on as we try to sort out what we need to be learning and if there will ever be an end in sight.

I like Brooke Fraser's songs. Her lyrics. Listen to "Faithful".

Some lyrics say, " When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same. When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray. And I want you more than I want to live another day...And as I wait for you maybe I'm made more faithful"....

So that's where I'm at. And because HE is always faithful, I wait day by day and continue walking on this path, even though most days it doesn't feel glamorous or amazing, but know that He is doing something IN me, AROUND me, THROUGH me, and DESPITE of me.

2 comments:

KatieG said...

I love reading your thoughts sweet friend! Praying for you at my 2am feeding :)

Amanda Ogden said...

It is wonderful to "hear" your thoughts. Certainly having an open, loving and generous heart doesn't make you a democrat or a republican: it only makes you a citizen of His kingdom.