Goodbye 2008....

Memories...
Annapolis, MD. Summer 2008.

World Series Game. Philadelphia. October, 2008.

Hiking in Shenandoah with friends.

Our neighborhood.

Capitol. Wow. We really live here.

Lively and Hendricks fam visit us in DC!

Out with Friends in Adams Morgan.

NYC visit for Heather's bday, January, 2008.

Girl's Weekend in the FL panhandle, May 2008. Best friends from High school!

DC Cherry Blossoms.

Our nieces, Ruth Anne and Hannah Kate. Visit to Belle Glade, December 2008.

Dinner with good friends, Atlanta, November 2008.

Las Vegas Anniversary Celebration, September 2008.

Ashley moved to DC! At a Phillies baseball game in the summer.

Lively Fam Beach week. New Symrna Beach, Florida. July, 2008.

Our Lovely Home. Celebrating my dear friend, Amanda's (center), wedding at her bachelorette beach weekend in June.

Mahurin Fam NYC trip to celebrate Ashley's graduation. May 2008.


I don't normally give much attention to New Year's and markings of time such as birthdays and years changing. When I woke up on January 1, 2009, it really didn't feel that different than December 31, 2008, so I don't think I should try to "force" myself to make it seem monumental.

Recognizing the big picture and seeing life more globally is diffifult for me, so I tried to think today about this past year and what is has held.

2008:

-12 months living in DC. A full year of making this area our home and neighborhood.

-Making our condo feel like home with a few renovations and some fresh furniture.

-Turning off the navigation in my car because I know where I am going and drive around a lot.

-A year at my job, meeting and working with probably 30+ kids and families. Growing professionally and my heart being stretched in ways I didn't know possible.

-My social awareness has increased and my political ideals challenged.

-A solid year of marriage, celebrating 2 years in September. Easier than the first year in ways of knowing our "groove", weathering holidays with the other "side", and knowing what to expect in the day to day. Better that you have a foundation and even if something might try to "rock" you, the stability of your partner keeps you safe. Harder in the ways that this is "forever" and that every day together might not be paradise and that one's spouse can be annoying (I think the hardest lesson for me has been the realization that I am actually annoying to him! What, how could my cool self ever be annoying?! I am still in disbelief. Ha.)

-Welcoming my sister to DC in the summer and enjoying time with her as a neighbor and friend. Sharing life as "grown ups" together.

-Vacations skiing in Colorado with my family, Beach time with the Lively fam in the summer, Vegas get away for Jonathan and I in September, a few trips around the Northeast to NYC and Philly and the VA mountains for long weekends, and entertaining friends and family coming to see us in DC.

-New friends and relationships here. Every Tuesday night with ladies for spiritual growth and encouragement, occasional Thursday nights with work friends for "Self Soothing" and fun, meeting some married couple friends to support us in this stage of life, plus keeping in touch with so many good, old friends who are so dear, even though far away.

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It has been a good year. As mentioned before, I have never been so "stable" before in my life with no major change (that I know about) lurking in the near future. While I used to find this to be entrapping and suffocating, I am learning to embrace being present in the here and now. For the first time ever in my life, I don't have an "exit strategy" for my current life, whether that be a move, change in job, relationship, etc, and I am happy about it. Seeing relatives and friends in Florida over the holidays, I could honestly say, I love DC and our life there and don't see us leaving anytime soon (or ever). Of course, I don't control all that happens in life and we will accept whatever God has for us, and I know life can bring surprises, in tragedies and joys, so I pray for continued grace to embrace all that could be.

Now for 2009, some challenges and hopes....

-Growth in my career. I am currently taking grad classes that I need to pursue licensure and hope 2009 holds the key to becoming a licensed professional counselor in Washington, DC. This will lead to great job opportunities and growth. For me, as I grow professionally, this stretches all parts of my personality, since I work with people and systems. The more I know and experience in the field, the more it influence my whole person, in and out of work. I don't compartmentalize myself well.

-Maturity in my marriage. Learning how to be less selfish, more thoughtful, more intentional with our time together and all that God has given us with our finances, resources and time.

-Mentoring project in DC. I have thoughts and desires for creating a mentoring program for kiddos in DC. Basically, I see a lot of kids who need mentors to invest in their lives (waiting lists for 1+ years) and I know a lot of great adults who I think would love to share some of their lives with a child. Now I just have to figure out the logistics of pairing these people together! Anyone with experiences/resources/contacts for non-profit development and mentoring, please let me know. I am prayerful as I explore this conviction and leading in my life to begin such a venture. This will also allow me to continue to invest in my community here in DC.

-Learning how to better hold onto old traditions and then also make new traditions. I had a hard time this past holiday season going through the motions of old family practices which are beginning to feel more foreign and dead. I want to have new traditions with my husband and in our own life. But I hate to hurt feelings or disappoint our loved ones and families. Not sure how to reconcile my wants and needs and all those of everyone else. With the holidays almost a year away, I already feel anxiety thinking about it and I don't think that is what the holidays should be about...Maybe another year will give me some answers.

-Church. I am prayerful that this year will give us direction in our involvement in a church. We both have issues with most churches (not the body of Christ, but the meetings of the institutional church) and not sure what to do, what to think, where to go, if to go, etc.

-Continuing to learn how to be free in Christ but also disciplined and intentional in seeking God and His plan for my life. Learning how to sanctified but not under the law. Being real in my shortcomings and vulnerable with others to reflect my need for God and His greatness in meeting my need.

I have had glimpses of things already ahead in 2009, and have been delightfully reminded of God's faithfulness. I am so easy to doubt and then always surprised (when I shouldn't be) when God is ahead of the game and knows myself and my desires more than me.....May you also be delighted and surprised at all that is ahead for you in 2009, to have joy admist sadness and perspective to be thankful admist the celebrations, that there is a season for everything and our place to be content whatever season life might bring.....and to know that one would not be as good, or bad, without the other to compare it to, and that life's richness comes from a variety of experiences and perspectives. Cheers to 2009!

Tagged!

I am not sure about this whole "tag" business, but my friend Katie has tagged me to tell 6 quirky things about me and the holidays...So I cannot ignore this request.
Not quite "quirky" and not sure how quirky would even apply to the holidays, but here goes....

1. I don't like decorating for Christmas/holidays. I just don't understand spending money on something that stays up for like 3 weeks. Maybe if space, money and time were not issues, I would have a lovely decorated home. Until then, I am content with my candles, one is scented "Red Apple Wreath" and the other is "Mistletoe". Lit in their glass homes, they spread all the cheer Jonathan and I need. Oh and I have these little reindeers that my Mom mailed (she is distressed that I do not have a desire to decorate) so I humored her by putting them on the front table, but Jonathan and I both get annoyed as we constantly knock them down every time we pass or put something on the table (see above, space issue). Don't tell my Mom.

2. My favorite Christmas song is Michael W. Smith's version of Kay Thompson's Jingle Bell's.
It is absolutely ridiculous but makes me laugh. My sister and I used to sing it loudly as we drove together to school back in the day. Good memories with my sister. I still know all the words.

3. Cuban Christmas Eve. We spend every Christmas Eve with our former neighbors who have a Cuban heritage and are wonderful hosts for a yummy dinner and festivities. It's always hilarious and they have been life long friends.

4. Favorite Christmas Movies: Love Actually, The Preacher's Wife, and Home Alone. I love Hugh Grant, Whitney Houston back in the day, and I used to be in love with Maculuary Culkin as a girl. Still my holiday heroes. And "The Christmas Story" but only in segments on the TBS marathon between eatings on Christmas day.

5. I actually look forward to waking up in my own bed in my own town one Christmas on a far away day. Don't know if this will ever happen since we live far away from both our families. But I do wonder what it would be like. Sounds kinda nice. Not that I don't love our families, but its still not "our" bed.

6. On Christmas Day, our family is very busy. We see every relative on my Mom and Dad's side. Really. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. The food is fantastic and its amazing to really see the WHOLE family. See why my thought up waking up in my bed in DC will probably not happen?! Ha.

Advent Conspiracy.

Have you heard?

Advent Conspiracy.

Pretty great. Thinking about where I can donate money this Christmas.

How about if you asked someone who normally gives you a gift, to donate money to someone who needs it instead? Yikes, that is a tough one. My shopping list for my Mom includes new sweaters, funky jewerly, a new quilt, and smelly bubble bath....it didn't include clean water for others.

Hmmmmm.....

I got tired of the flowers.

Hence, another example of my extreme procrastination abilities.

I would never be so productive with all other duties in my life, if I didn't have a paper due in 48 hours.

See, isn't that seeing the positive in the situation?

a good car ride to work.

So many thoughts, right now.

Driving to work this morning, I enjoyed the wintry landscape. All the leaves are gone. The sun has made its annual escape, so grey clouds and sky were soft in the background. A cold wind blowing as a jogger grimaced his face for the unanticipated gust, out on his morning run along the Potomac, as I drove by with my warm coffee in the car.

I don't love the winter. Being in Florida for most of life, I love the sunshine and got used to a Vitamin D surplus, because as the winter continues, I definitely get some SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Actually this morning when I woke up, I had so many aches and pains (for no good reason such as a strenuous workout) and could not think of any reason why I should wake up, well except for all those obligatory duties required in a day, but not any reason why I wanted to get out of my cozy bed, onto my achy legs and feet, into the cold, cold, bathroom, attempt to do my hair (ponytail won, hair still dirty), get out into the chilly air, drive with every other DC busybody to the office to meet with kids who probably don't appreciate me, and who I probably won't really help...and on and on.....

BUT as I made the drive into work, the wintry morning was beautiful. Peaceful. Quiet. I kept looking at the trees. No leaves. They look dead, right? I know you have heard this kind of sermon over and over again, but it struck me anew this morning. The trees look dead without their leaves and their dull color, yet in a few months, when the glories of spring immerse, LIFE and BEAUTY and COLOR and FULLNESS return.

So, even when I feel almost "dead" inside (like this morning for me), I am not. The color, passion, beauty and fullness is there, though dormant. Why dormant? Maybe I have to die to myself. Maybe I am being sanctified, disciplined. I don't know. What I AM sure of is that the promise for Spring, whatever that is symbolic for each of us, will not disappoint. And isn't it worth it to be "dead" for awhile or to whatever, to come "alive" again? Spring would not be so great, without the contrast of Winter preceding it. Think about this in your own life, how might your current sufferings be apart of the grand design to delight you with a more lovely Spring?!

Needless to say, my drive to work was quite productive between me and the Lord. The morning started with something very encouraging at work. I was shocked. I had forgotten the "hope" of Spring and what that felt like. Throughout the day, it has soaked in and I am thankful. My heart is slowing "waking" up and I can feel the burn again for life, children, and things beyond laying in bed all day. Now I cannot speak for tomorrow, but I learned a lot today.

While there is more...I must end for this evening and get back to an assignment that is ALMOST done and due on Friday. Friday. Friday. Can't wait.

Out of Africa.

On my third sick day of the week, as a result of strep throat, one item on my agenda has been to watch "Out of Africa", which has to be my all time favorite movie....Ahhh, it's glorious. The music, scenery, story of adventure in an unknown land, a heroine who is independent and strong yet allows herself to fall in love, a handsome man made more so as a result of him being so unattainable, so wild, yet the heroine doesn't care to have "all" of him, because only a bit of him is more great than the "all" of many other men....

So many great scenes, Karen and Denys grasping hands as they fly over the beautiful African tundra, Karen showing up in the military tents after weeks of travel to the astonishment of the sexist men, heartbreak over the world not asking before it changed, over lives ending too soon, dreams not lost, but altered.

On the next rainy or sick day in your future, watch this lovely movie and grow to love the characters, story, the lines, Africa, and Robert Redford....

Blah.

Today has been one of those days where my head hasn't stopped pulsing, I can't remember why I love(d) my job so much (didn't I just tell one of you how much I loved it? Well, I need a reminder, a day later!), and the idea of doing anything besides sitting on the couch all day in my pj's seems like some kind of slow, pure torture.

What's my deal? Post holiday blues, maybe. The day after driving for 13 hours in horrible weather and traffic from Atlanta to DC, check. Husband left after 10 days of face to face time, check. Bags from being out of town laying around bedroom begging to be unpacked, check. Paper for grad class still awaiting to be written, check. Family calling saying "I wish you were with us" at Thanksgiving because I was with husband's fam, check. Did I mention a headache that continues to burn my eyes and throb in the back of my head? Oh right, check.

My inner dialogue of complaints has been reeling throughout the day. I got back home and decided to "stop" my whining and look for things to uplift me.

I started to wash dishes, an annoying thing that just must be done. I was able to find some small happiness in my Mrs. Meyer's lavendar scented dish soap. It smells so freaking good and I really did feel uplifted as I scrubbed away. Postive #1, check.

Ahh. I bought a new dishtowel this weekend at Anthropologie on sale. It has old timey advertisements on it like "Novella sweet peas" with green stripes on the bottom. I didn't use it to dry the dishes because its brand new, but I did look at it on the towel rack, and found positive #2.

So, buy fun dish soap and towels. Simple pleasures. Much better than DAWN and an old, stained dishrag.

Next positive, a new Gossip Girl is on tonight. Yes, this is my total guilty pleasure. Its funny because I actually like the adults in the show, more than the "kids", which I guess means I am getting old. Rufus is such a hot dad! Yes, the show is full of underage sex and partying, but the clothes are fun and there are some underlying themes with redemptive qualities. And its not a "guilty" pleasure for no reason, there have to be some scandals :) xoxo!

Following GG, I will soak with my new Aveeno Foaming Bath, bought at the grocery today, and while not overly luxurious (I need some new for Christmas, hint hint), it will do the trick and I need to wind down. My heart is beating fast, probably from my almost overdose of excedrin migraine (with caffeine) to try and beat this ache in the head. OH, and I got some Blistex in a new, yummy flavor rasberry lemonade blast. It's like a reminder of a summer treat for my dreary, cracked winter lips, positive # 5!

While I know there are far greater positives out there such as health, prosperity, family and God's faithfulness but sometimes its the small things to comfort you on such a "blah" day.