Yikes.

I haven't written in awhile. While I have had many "blogs" written in my thoughts as I drive around, listen to music, and sit awake at night going to sleep (or not), they have not materialized as being busy has taken over my life. I feel like I come up for gasps of air, and then sink back down with more "things to do". Ugh. 2009 is turning out to be a year of to-do's, working really hard, then being told I need to work harder, and growing intellectually,academically and professionally.

Note: this is not at all fun. I think I might rather it be a year for social growth and personal relaxation. Ha. However, there is a season for everything and know God is stirring in me through all this learning and doing. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all my thoughts because I don't know what they mean or what they "look like"!

If only I had time to "soak it up". That is the problem! Really, I would try to enjoy it more, but hence the "I can't breathe-coming up for air" piece.

This past week, I went to an Ash Wednesday service. I had never been to one of these before but was looking forward to a time to sit and just soak it in. God, quiet, fellowship, something...I came seeking and needed filling up.

Well, the speaker talked about how repentance leads to true joy in salvation. If you have never experienced true repentance, then you cannot experience the joy of the Lord. Why? Because when you are repentant, then you come to the end of all hope in yourself, and know that you need God to save your soul. This is not sad or somber. Not a time for weeping, but a time of overflowing joy, because when we are not enough, Christ is enough, and that is SO great! Make sense? It does to me and that is probably because I feel so inadequate and shitty in myself. Not that I have poor self esteem or confidence - I have a good amount of both- but I know the end of Heather and the beginning of Christ. Really, I am nothing, He is everything. For me, I had to learn the hard way in many things, fall down, fall hard, you get the picture. How do you learn otherwise? Can you know without royally messing up? Or are we all royally messed up just in being? I don't know.

Anyways, at the service the people read together these powerful confessions (take a deep breath) ....

"Most holy and merciful Father: We confess to you and before one another that we have sinned in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind, and strength. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven other, as we have been forgiven. We have been deaf to your call of serve, as Christ served us. We have not been true to the mind of Christ. We have grieved your Holy Spirit. We confess to you, Lord, all our past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives; our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people. We confess our envy of those more fortunate than us, our intemperate love of money and of worldly goods and comforts, and our dishonesty in daily life and work. We confess our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to commend the faith that is within us; our blindness to human need and suffering, and our indifference to poverty, injustice and cruelty. We confess our false judgements, our uncharitable thoughts towards our neighbors, and our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us."

YIKES.

I have kept this close and re-read it several times this week. First, it gets me out of "me". Isn't that always the problem? I love the words and the reminders....

Feast on the words and what they mean. Remember there is so much MORE.

Joy and Sorrow

The more we find out about Jesus, and particularly about his death and resurrection, the more we are then energized by the Spirit to reveal God’s love to the world. In John 20 Jesus breathes on the disciples and says to them, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you. Receive the Holy Spirit.” And suddenly we see the whole vista of what God did in Jesus, through his healing and his suffering, through his parables, his celebrations, and ultimately his agony. And, with that, we discover that the story of Jesus’ ministry is not only the story of what he did in history, but encompasses also the vocation that comes to us in the present: that we should be, in the power of the Spirit, the presence of Jesus for the whole world. This discovery brings the most remarkable joy and the most remarkable sorrow.
This is our vocation: to take up our cross, and be Jesus for the whole world, living with the joy and the sorrow woven into the pattern of our days.

NT Wright, Reflecting the Glory

Lovely Laurie & some mac and cheesy goodness

Nick and Laurie

The new hubby and wifey

My sweet friends and the bride

Beautiful Florida backyard reception

Hello!

Just returned to DC after a quick trip to Orlando....I was able to attend and witness my dear friend Laurie's wedding to Nick Monterosso. It was such a blessing to be there with them as they begin their lives as husband and wife. Wedding vows and ceremonies are different to me now as I am a wife. The vows mean more and sometimes convict me that I am not doing well at upholding my own promises, or makes me feel so blessed with my own marriage, and most of the time probably a combination of all those feelings....I do realize the importance of the words and commitment in a different way. I don't know how you can really understand the magnitude of it when you are up there saying it at the start of your marriage, but as time goes by it obviously becomes more real (in a good way). We've only been doing this for 2 1/2 years and have certainly stumbled and fallen and still don't feel like we "know what we are doing" but most days we can laugh and be grateful and look forward to (hopefully) many more days ahead together and sharing life. Anyways, it was a good reminder of the sacredness of marriage. I am very excited and happy for the Monterosso's!

Laurie is a kindred spirit sort of friend. She does similar work as I do in Detroit, Michigan, working with children in foster care, all in an inner city with so many circumstances that put these kids at risk. I love to talk to her because she "gets it" in a way that only someone working in this field can relate (and no offense to all of you who are not- we need you too!) so we have many conversations.....A few months ago, I was talking to her on the phone and all of the sudden she starting crying and freaking out. She had hit a dog in the road and was trying to figure out if it was alive and if she should go and pick it up to take to an emergency vet. Well, Laurie did end up getting the injured dog in her back seat and taking it to the vet ER, where is subsequently died not only from being hit by the car, but also rat poisoning. Laurie was so upset and distraught, and this story, although sad, describes her passionate and feeling heart!

Laurie and her new hubby live in an inner city Detroit neighborhood. Although she would have to tell you more about it, they will live in an intentional community with other members of their church to live with people they want to serve and share life with....Nick does homeless outreach for his job through a non-profit and they are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus in Detroit.

Although it was a quick weekend trip, we also got to spend some time with the fam and get spoiled by Mom and Dad with big breakfasts and homemade dinners from the grill. It was nice and refreshing. Plus my Mom, who's love language is gifts, always ends up packing my suitcase with random odds and ends like new pj's, shampoo, and fun earrings.

Now the hubby is already away at his job for the week, I am trying to get ready for the week and motivate myself for grand things (stay posted...)

Here is to my friend, Katie, who wants to swap recipes.....Anyone else want to share?

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Macaroni and Cheese with Cauliflower


Cooking with extra-sharp Cheddar lets you use less cheese without giving up flavor. Tender cauliflower adds fiber and vitamin C.

12 ounces multi grain elbow macaroni

1 head cauliflower, roughly chopped

4 slices multi grain bread, torn

1/2 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped

3 tablespoons olive oil

Kosher salt and pepper

1 onion, finely chopped

1 1/2 cups grated extra-sharp Cheddar (6 ounces)

1 1/2 cups reduced-fat sour cream

1/2 cup 1 percent milk

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Heat oven to 400° F. Cook the pasta according to the package directions, adding the cauliflower during the last 3 minutes of cooking time; drain.

Meanwhile, pulse the bread in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. Add the parsley, 2 tablespoons of the oil, and 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper and pulse to combine; set aside.

Return the pasta pot to medium heat and add the remaining tablespoon of oil. Add the onion, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, just until soft, 5 to 7 minutes. Mix in the pasta, cauliflower, cheese, sour cream, milk, and mustard.

Transfer to a shallow 3-quart baking dish, sprinkle with the bread crumbs, and bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes.

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A DC girlfriend, Micah, made this for our small group and it was so yummy I made up my own tonight...Great comfort food with some healthiness "snuck" in....Make it while its still cold outside! Oh and its from http://www.realsimple.com/, my favorite recipe source!

Saturday smatterings....

1. “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand."

The wisdom of Henri Nouwen....

In my job, marriage, friendships and family this is what I am working on. Mr. Nouwen always inspires me in his words and writings.

2. Jonathan made me a homemade birthday cake from a box last night and it is still making me happy, as I had it for breakfast and a little more for lunch. It even has sprinkles and is iced perfectly.

3. Funny story about why its good for me work with kids from the week: Woke up with a lovely blemish on my nose, red and inflamed. All day various kids and teens asked me, " What is wrong with your nose, Ms. Heather." The greatest response when I said, "Oh it just a zit that I had when I woke up this morning," kind of reponse, one girl said, "Oh I thought you got your nose pierced!" Ahhh kids, reminders not to take yourself so seriously and to laugh at things that really aren't funny (like facial bumps).

4. Watching food network right now and Giada is making a champagne sangria! Doesn't that sound nice? I have never heard of one but would like to try. Thanks tiny lil' Giada woman.

5. I am starting to plan a real vacation for Jonathan and I. Thinking Costa Rica. Any suggestions? Warm, sunny, tropical and a kinda remote, rustic place to stay is what we are looking for and not too pricey. Help.

Happy Saturday.

Winter Wonderland.

I am okay with winter when it means beautiful snow. I can't help but get really happy and tickled as I am driving around and flakes are falling. Growing up, I saw and played in snow on vacations, but to live day to day life when it snows is still a new adventure. Plus, this is not Michigan or Chicago, where snow is a nightmare. In DC its really not a bother and is more like dancing little flecks spreading joy to people in the world. Or just me. Wish it would stay or dance for me some more tomorrow.

Ice is in the forecast instead. Not as cheery?!

P.S.- The pictures are from our street, the brick building is where we live. "Cute", right? Snow on bare tree branches is my favorite.

Living in the District for Inauguration 2009.

Our 44th President

Freezing and waiting

It was crowded. We were far away but on the mall for this historic event!

The crowds in the city

What a fun weekend to be in DC. While some locals left town, as others "took over the city", I was thrilled to be here and live in the excitement and energy that the crowds brought. Just walking to the gym, like a normal Saturday, Jonathan and I were stopped by an impressive motorcade complete with 12+ cars, vans with secret service officers poking out of the window with large weapons, trucks with spinning satellite dishes on top, and helicopters chopping above. Being in DC, you get used to armored motorcades going by, but this weekend they really stepped them up! Throughout the night, I was awakened by sirens, planes and helicopters ahead. My paranoid self kept saying little prayers, like "This is it" as I heard some large jet noise above me and thinking maybe were were about to get terrorist attacked or something. Well, we survived! No terrorist attack or casualties, made it through the freezing cold and even from being trampled by a crowd, which was actually a possibility trying to leave the national mall after the new President was sworn in.

One of the highlights was the "We are One" Inaugural Celebration Concert which was on Sunday by the Lincoln Memorial. It was a celebrity studded event with musicians (Beyonce, U2, Garth Brooks, John Mellancamp, Usher, Shakira and more) and actors (Tom Hanks, Jack Black, Samuel L. Jackson, Denzel Washington, and lots more) who gave moving speeches chronicling the history of our country with quotes from previous presidents and leaders. It was emotional and patriotic. Obama and Biden were there with their families and gave speeched. They broad casted it on HBO and I recommend it, but I'm sure being in the crowd was something hard to capture on television.

We experienced Inauguration Day 20009 with the masses. Our goal was to be on the national mall with a view of the Capital. Done. We were content even though we didn't have tickets or seats, or an actual view of the people on the platform, we did have jumbo trons broadcasting the sound and sights. Plus when you watched the news showing all those "specks" of thousands of people on the mall, we were among them!

Now among the optimism and energy in the crowd, I was angered by every one's reaction as President GW Bush was introduced. Booing, yelling and overall negativity seemed to contradict the "We are One" feeling of anti partisanship and coming together! I get that people don't like Bush, but he was on the way out and deserved the respect of being the President of the United States. Then as his helicopter flew away from the mall, taking him off after the Inauguration was over, everyone was singing, "na na na na hey hey oh goodbye!". I was thinking, "I hope Pres. Bush is opening a nice cold beer as he flew over thinking, "Peace out people!" Although I am excited about a fresh start, I am thankful for the service of any president.

So, if you ever can go to an Inauguration, go! It's a great experience of our freedom to be able to witness the peaceful transfer of power.

Let's pray for the new President and our country during these next years.

Goodbye 2008....

Memories...
Annapolis, MD. Summer 2008.

World Series Game. Philadelphia. October, 2008.

Hiking in Shenandoah with friends.

Our neighborhood.

Capitol. Wow. We really live here.

Lively and Hendricks fam visit us in DC!

Out with Friends in Adams Morgan.

NYC visit for Heather's bday, January, 2008.

Girl's Weekend in the FL panhandle, May 2008. Best friends from High school!

DC Cherry Blossoms.

Our nieces, Ruth Anne and Hannah Kate. Visit to Belle Glade, December 2008.

Dinner with good friends, Atlanta, November 2008.

Las Vegas Anniversary Celebration, September 2008.

Ashley moved to DC! At a Phillies baseball game in the summer.

Lively Fam Beach week. New Symrna Beach, Florida. July, 2008.

Our Lovely Home. Celebrating my dear friend, Amanda's (center), wedding at her bachelorette beach weekend in June.

Mahurin Fam NYC trip to celebrate Ashley's graduation. May 2008.


I don't normally give much attention to New Year's and markings of time such as birthdays and years changing. When I woke up on January 1, 2009, it really didn't feel that different than December 31, 2008, so I don't think I should try to "force" myself to make it seem monumental.

Recognizing the big picture and seeing life more globally is diffifult for me, so I tried to think today about this past year and what is has held.

2008:

-12 months living in DC. A full year of making this area our home and neighborhood.

-Making our condo feel like home with a few renovations and some fresh furniture.

-Turning off the navigation in my car because I know where I am going and drive around a lot.

-A year at my job, meeting and working with probably 30+ kids and families. Growing professionally and my heart being stretched in ways I didn't know possible.

-My social awareness has increased and my political ideals challenged.

-A solid year of marriage, celebrating 2 years in September. Easier than the first year in ways of knowing our "groove", weathering holidays with the other "side", and knowing what to expect in the day to day. Better that you have a foundation and even if something might try to "rock" you, the stability of your partner keeps you safe. Harder in the ways that this is "forever" and that every day together might not be paradise and that one's spouse can be annoying (I think the hardest lesson for me has been the realization that I am actually annoying to him! What, how could my cool self ever be annoying?! I am still in disbelief. Ha.)

-Welcoming my sister to DC in the summer and enjoying time with her as a neighbor and friend. Sharing life as "grown ups" together.

-Vacations skiing in Colorado with my family, Beach time with the Lively fam in the summer, Vegas get away for Jonathan and I in September, a few trips around the Northeast to NYC and Philly and the VA mountains for long weekends, and entertaining friends and family coming to see us in DC.

-New friends and relationships here. Every Tuesday night with ladies for spiritual growth and encouragement, occasional Thursday nights with work friends for "Self Soothing" and fun, meeting some married couple friends to support us in this stage of life, plus keeping in touch with so many good, old friends who are so dear, even though far away.

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It has been a good year. As mentioned before, I have never been so "stable" before in my life with no major change (that I know about) lurking in the near future. While I used to find this to be entrapping and suffocating, I am learning to embrace being present in the here and now. For the first time ever in my life, I don't have an "exit strategy" for my current life, whether that be a move, change in job, relationship, etc, and I am happy about it. Seeing relatives and friends in Florida over the holidays, I could honestly say, I love DC and our life there and don't see us leaving anytime soon (or ever). Of course, I don't control all that happens in life and we will accept whatever God has for us, and I know life can bring surprises, in tragedies and joys, so I pray for continued grace to embrace all that could be.

Now for 2009, some challenges and hopes....

-Growth in my career. I am currently taking grad classes that I need to pursue licensure and hope 2009 holds the key to becoming a licensed professional counselor in Washington, DC. This will lead to great job opportunities and growth. For me, as I grow professionally, this stretches all parts of my personality, since I work with people and systems. The more I know and experience in the field, the more it influence my whole person, in and out of work. I don't compartmentalize myself well.

-Maturity in my marriage. Learning how to be less selfish, more thoughtful, more intentional with our time together and all that God has given us with our finances, resources and time.

-Mentoring project in DC. I have thoughts and desires for creating a mentoring program for kiddos in DC. Basically, I see a lot of kids who need mentors to invest in their lives (waiting lists for 1+ years) and I know a lot of great adults who I think would love to share some of their lives with a child. Now I just have to figure out the logistics of pairing these people together! Anyone with experiences/resources/contacts for non-profit development and mentoring, please let me know. I am prayerful as I explore this conviction and leading in my life to begin such a venture. This will also allow me to continue to invest in my community here in DC.

-Learning how to better hold onto old traditions and then also make new traditions. I had a hard time this past holiday season going through the motions of old family practices which are beginning to feel more foreign and dead. I want to have new traditions with my husband and in our own life. But I hate to hurt feelings or disappoint our loved ones and families. Not sure how to reconcile my wants and needs and all those of everyone else. With the holidays almost a year away, I already feel anxiety thinking about it and I don't think that is what the holidays should be about...Maybe another year will give me some answers.

-Church. I am prayerful that this year will give us direction in our involvement in a church. We both have issues with most churches (not the body of Christ, but the meetings of the institutional church) and not sure what to do, what to think, where to go, if to go, etc.

-Continuing to learn how to be free in Christ but also disciplined and intentional in seeking God and His plan for my life. Learning how to sanctified but not under the law. Being real in my shortcomings and vulnerable with others to reflect my need for God and His greatness in meeting my need.

I have had glimpses of things already ahead in 2009, and have been delightfully reminded of God's faithfulness. I am so easy to doubt and then always surprised (when I shouldn't be) when God is ahead of the game and knows myself and my desires more than me.....May you also be delighted and surprised at all that is ahead for you in 2009, to have joy admist sadness and perspective to be thankful admist the celebrations, that there is a season for everything and our place to be content whatever season life might bring.....and to know that one would not be as good, or bad, without the other to compare it to, and that life's richness comes from a variety of experiences and perspectives. Cheers to 2009!