peoples past.

This time of year and the approaching winter always signals a dip in my mood, and while determined to not be victim to such a depression, I have to admit I enjoy bits of the "contemplativeness" of my spirit tonight.

While not sure how to broach the subject on this public format, a certain event occurred this weekend which left me thinking about relationships lost....those people in your life who at some time you knew, loved, and had deep interactions with and now have faded into the peripheral people you might hear about while visiting your hometown over the holidays or catch up through mutual friends.

It is just so weird to me to think about really knowing someone and being involved in his/her life and then just not be anymore. Ofcourse, this is a reality and there is not really any way to not have this in our lives, but my heart doesn't really know how to deal with it or how to reason around this occurance.

It just makes me sad. Regardless of the reason for not having a certain person in your life anymore, whether it was your choice, or theirs, or circumstances. So, here is a guarantee to you about me- if you are in my life, my friend, my family, my love, past or present, then I will always remember you, think about you, and love you in some way. Maybe I don't act on the love because it wouldn't be appropiate or circumstances don't allow, but I appreciate you being in my life at some point. Each person I know and share my life with in some capacity, changes me, molds me, influences me, in some way....I love big and vulnerably, and the consequence is that people don't "leave" me. You are actually all here, somewhere in my heart or my luny head....

My husband had to leave early on a business trip. I am left alone with a glass of wine (and hot chocolate for later), a stack of books, and an i-pod playlist to comfort and fellowship with tonight.