Thursday, January 21, 2010

"Just one of those days...

That a girl goes through when she's angry inside, don't let her take it out on you...."

Who else can sing the lyrics and melody of that song by Monica from back in the day?

If my day had a theme song that should be it. I have the tune in my head tormenting me further.

Without getting into too many details about the entire day (because I can't really handle to hash it out totally but need a little vent) as I was leaving work, I was panicked because I couldn't find my keys. I had my "work" keys that I keep separately on my security badge and lanyard around my neck. But my car key, house keys, gym card/grocery discount card ring was MIA and not in my red tote, which is the only place they should be since parking my car at 8am this morning. I panic tearing apart my desk, crawling on the floor to see if they fell, examining my coat to see if there was holes in the pockets, emailing the entire building (who had already left for the day) to say "Lost keys! Please help", calling the building management company to bug them, interrupting the cleaning crew and trying to remember my Spanish to ask them if they found any keys, probably acting a little "too" panicked around my boss, who noticed that I was frantic as she left for the day...I hate that feeling of losing something and like I am losing my mind! Oh it gets better...So I walk to my car, which is parked about 6 blocks away on the street in Southeast DC. I am scouring the sidewalks and roads thinking they feel but also knowing that its unlikely they would still be there 8+hours. I am being mean to Jonathan as I talk to him on the phone. Get to my car and oh wow, it's unlocked! And the keys are sitting on the front seat in plain vision, like they had been all day. So, #1, I feel like the biggest idiot and that I AM IN FACT losing my mind. And #2, Thank God that somehow angels were watching my car all day. WHAT IN THE WORLD?! DC is one of the biggest cities for car theft. But I guess the thieves enjoy breaking windows and jigging engines because apparently an unlocked door with keys just waiting for you isn't any fun!

So that is where I am at. I talked about having perspective in comparison to what the people are dealing with in Haiti yesterday (or some day I can't even remember) and today I feel like my brain is at total capacity that I can't even lock my car correctly and then forget about it and panicky and alert the entire work place that I have indeed lost it and no one should have entrusted me with this new job in the first place because clearly someone who is crazy and losing keys (or not even losing but leaving them out to be stolen!) should not have this type of responsibility!!

Oh and yesterday...I just hit the car in front of my driving to work. Like Oh I should have stopped but I will just hit you. Like a bumper car. It wasn't hard and very minimal damage, but it happened and I didn't even realize it. Delayed reaction, oh I just hit that car, awesome, pull over, oh happy Wednesday drive to work. Just run into people. And I wasn't even talking on the phone or texting or fiddling with the radio. I was concentrating. And I still just bumped the poor lady.

Ahhhhh.....I should find a bible verse about peace in the storm or something but it doesn't even feel like a "storm" but that this is life and I can't take it. Oh I need MORE of God's sustainment, grace and refreshment.

Thanks friends. I feel better. Needed to vent and attempt to laugh at myself. Not laughing yet though.

2 comments:

Bagwell's said...

You are such a good writer! I feel like I am right there with you. I hope your day today is peaceful and that you are in fact laughing at yourself! Miss you! I was reading the book you gave to Brooks this morning. He loves it!

jonnali said...

Heather. love to you my childhood friend. What a day! I'm glad you vented in writing.