"Just one of those days...

That a girl goes through when she's angry inside, don't let her take it out on you...."

Who else can sing the lyrics and melody of that song by Monica from back in the day?

If my day had a theme song that should be it. I have the tune in my head tormenting me further.

Without getting into too many details about the entire day (because I can't really handle to hash it out totally but need a little vent) as I was leaving work, I was panicked because I couldn't find my keys. I had my "work" keys that I keep separately on my security badge and lanyard around my neck. But my car key, house keys, gym card/grocery discount card ring was MIA and not in my red tote, which is the only place they should be since parking my car at 8am this morning. I panic tearing apart my desk, crawling on the floor to see if they fell, examining my coat to see if there was holes in the pockets, emailing the entire building (who had already left for the day) to say "Lost keys! Please help", calling the building management company to bug them, interrupting the cleaning crew and trying to remember my Spanish to ask them if they found any keys, probably acting a little "too" panicked around my boss, who noticed that I was frantic as she left for the day...I hate that feeling of losing something and like I am losing my mind! Oh it gets better...So I walk to my car, which is parked about 6 blocks away on the street in Southeast DC. I am scouring the sidewalks and roads thinking they feel but also knowing that its unlikely they would still be there 8+hours. I am being mean to Jonathan as I talk to him on the phone. Get to my car and oh wow, it's unlocked! And the keys are sitting on the front seat in plain vision, like they had been all day. So, #1, I feel like the biggest idiot and that I AM IN FACT losing my mind. And #2, Thank God that somehow angels were watching my car all day. WHAT IN THE WORLD?! DC is one of the biggest cities for car theft. But I guess the thieves enjoy breaking windows and jigging engines because apparently an unlocked door with keys just waiting for you isn't any fun!

So that is where I am at. I talked about having perspective in comparison to what the people are dealing with in Haiti yesterday (or some day I can't even remember) and today I feel like my brain is at total capacity that I can't even lock my car correctly and then forget about it and panicky and alert the entire work place that I have indeed lost it and no one should have entrusted me with this new job in the first place because clearly someone who is crazy and losing keys (or not even losing but leaving them out to be stolen!) should not have this type of responsibility!!

Oh and yesterday...I just hit the car in front of my driving to work. Like Oh I should have stopped but I will just hit you. Like a bumper car. It wasn't hard and very minimal damage, but it happened and I didn't even realize it. Delayed reaction, oh I just hit that car, awesome, pull over, oh happy Wednesday drive to work. Just run into people. And I wasn't even talking on the phone or texting or fiddling with the radio. I was concentrating. And I still just bumped the poor lady.

Ahhhhh.....I should find a bible verse about peace in the storm or something but it doesn't even feel like a "storm" but that this is life and I can't take it. Oh I need MORE of God's sustainment, grace and refreshment.

Thanks friends. I feel better. Needed to vent and attempt to laugh at myself. Not laughing yet though.

Haiti.

I can't get away from Haiti and the sadness of the natural disaster and the suffering of so many there now. I have heard that Haitian people are some of the most kind, lovely and giving. Have you seen the outpourings of faith as people realize their home, country and land has been devastated? Parades with people singing hymns, praising God admist the terror.



My friend, Julie, has lived in Haiti for the past year or so and her life has been forever changed from last week's earthquake. She is safe thankfully but please check out her blog for first hand accounts and amazing stories (she is a great story teller). Although I am sad that Julie had to experience such tragedy, I know she will make good out of it. She is a mover and a shaker for change and improvement. Many prayers and much love to her and the Haitian people.

I hope it's a little harder to complain and mumble about your situation/daily gripings/ill contentedness in awareness of the hurt and pain and loss in Haiti. Watch CNN for like an hour and it's a perspective changer. I hope I can hang onto this outlook and remember....

"But in all things we commend ourselves as ministers of God: in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses, in stripes,in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors, in sleeplessness, in fastings, by purity, by knowledge, by longsuffering, by kindness, by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love, by the word of truth, by the power of God, by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and on the left, by honor and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as decievers, and yet true: as unknown and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened and yet not killed; as sorrowful yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing and yet possessing all things." 2 Corinthians 6:4-10

Hey There 2010.

2010 has been a whirlwind thus far. A pretty good one at that.

It began with great anxiety as I prepared for my national counseling examination, the last stage in a few year process to be licensed in DC as a professional counselor. This is THE goal following graduate school and it's been a pain in the a**. But I have perservered. And my husband has perservered with me (I'm sure he has gotten the brunt of my stress and unpleasantness).

As of January 5th, 2010, my career as a counselor has officially began. Yes, I've been doing counseling and mental health work for some time now, but now I work under my own license, can bill insurance and it allows me to do a lot more in general in the field.

Along with my license came a nice new job position at work. This has been transitioning since last June, but as of last week I took over my own team to supervise and lead 6 awesome, great people. The Lively team is born!

Hence the whirlwind. My feet didn't touch the ground a few days after my test, but they quickly came down as I have been completely overwhelmed at the responsibility, tasks and challenges for this new role. Now I feel like I can't find my legs underneath me. I have to tell myself, "walk, think, talk, you can do this"!

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE this new role. The people I am working with are amazing and have been so supportive of me through out the process. My team has believed in me from the beginning and that feels undeserved, but I am grateful. I am energized, motivated and can't keep my thoughts from racing...My struggle is figuring out how to do this all at once. I realize I know so LITTLE and the learning curve is straight up. If I could soak it up quicker, I would...Each day my brain feels saturated yet there is so much MORE to do, learn, lead, think, understand, experience....

I give God all the thanks for this new opportunity. My prayer is that I will pour into the people I work with as I have the families and kids I have in the past. While I lack experience, I hope to make up in spirit and effort. I am merely a vessel...it just looks different in this new place and position.

Anyone else ever feel like the learning curve is straight up and you are just grasping to hold on?

Grace...Grace....Grace....I am humbled.

Hope 2010 is off to a good start for you, too.