Yikes.

I haven't written in awhile. While I have had many "blogs" written in my thoughts as I drive around, listen to music, and sit awake at night going to sleep (or not), they have not materialized as being busy has taken over my life. I feel like I come up for gasps of air, and then sink back down with more "things to do". Ugh. 2009 is turning out to be a year of to-do's, working really hard, then being told I need to work harder, and growing intellectually,academically and professionally.

Note: this is not at all fun. I think I might rather it be a year for social growth and personal relaxation. Ha. However, there is a season for everything and know God is stirring in me through all this learning and doing. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all my thoughts because I don't know what they mean or what they "look like"!

If only I had time to "soak it up". That is the problem! Really, I would try to enjoy it more, but hence the "I can't breathe-coming up for air" piece.

This past week, I went to an Ash Wednesday service. I had never been to one of these before but was looking forward to a time to sit and just soak it in. God, quiet, fellowship, something...I came seeking and needed filling up.

Well, the speaker talked about how repentance leads to true joy in salvation. If you have never experienced true repentance, then you cannot experience the joy of the Lord. Why? Because when you are repentant, then you come to the end of all hope in yourself, and know that you need God to save your soul. This is not sad or somber. Not a time for weeping, but a time of overflowing joy, because when we are not enough, Christ is enough, and that is SO great! Make sense? It does to me and that is probably because I feel so inadequate and shitty in myself. Not that I have poor self esteem or confidence - I have a good amount of both- but I know the end of Heather and the beginning of Christ. Really, I am nothing, He is everything. For me, I had to learn the hard way in many things, fall down, fall hard, you get the picture. How do you learn otherwise? Can you know without royally messing up? Or are we all royally messed up just in being? I don't know.

Anyways, at the service the people read together these powerful confessions (take a deep breath) ....

"Most holy and merciful Father: We confess to you and before one another that we have sinned in thought, word, and deed; by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind, and strength. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven other, as we have been forgiven. We have been deaf to your call of serve, as Christ served us. We have not been true to the mind of Christ. We have grieved your Holy Spirit. We confess to you, Lord, all our past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives; our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people. We confess our envy of those more fortunate than us, our intemperate love of money and of worldly goods and comforts, and our dishonesty in daily life and work. We confess our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to commend the faith that is within us; our blindness to human need and suffering, and our indifference to poverty, injustice and cruelty. We confess our false judgements, our uncharitable thoughts towards our neighbors, and our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us."

YIKES.

I have kept this close and re-read it several times this week. First, it gets me out of "me". Isn't that always the problem? I love the words and the reminders....

Feast on the words and what they mean. Remember there is so much MORE.

Joy and Sorrow

The more we find out about Jesus, and particularly about his death and resurrection, the more we are then energized by the Spirit to reveal God’s love to the world. In John 20 Jesus breathes on the disciples and says to them, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you. Receive the Holy Spirit.” And suddenly we see the whole vista of what God did in Jesus, through his healing and his suffering, through his parables, his celebrations, and ultimately his agony. And, with that, we discover that the story of Jesus’ ministry is not only the story of what he did in history, but encompasses also the vocation that comes to us in the present: that we should be, in the power of the Spirit, the presence of Jesus for the whole world. This discovery brings the most remarkable joy and the most remarkable sorrow.
This is our vocation: to take up our cross, and be Jesus for the whole world, living with the joy and the sorrow woven into the pattern of our days.

NT Wright, Reflecting the Glory

Lovely Laurie & some mac and cheesy goodness

Nick and Laurie

The new hubby and wifey

My sweet friends and the bride

Beautiful Florida backyard reception

Hello!

Just returned to DC after a quick trip to Orlando....I was able to attend and witness my dear friend Laurie's wedding to Nick Monterosso. It was such a blessing to be there with them as they begin their lives as husband and wife. Wedding vows and ceremonies are different to me now as I am a wife. The vows mean more and sometimes convict me that I am not doing well at upholding my own promises, or makes me feel so blessed with my own marriage, and most of the time probably a combination of all those feelings....I do realize the importance of the words and commitment in a different way. I don't know how you can really understand the magnitude of it when you are up there saying it at the start of your marriage, but as time goes by it obviously becomes more real (in a good way). We've only been doing this for 2 1/2 years and have certainly stumbled and fallen and still don't feel like we "know what we are doing" but most days we can laugh and be grateful and look forward to (hopefully) many more days ahead together and sharing life. Anyways, it was a good reminder of the sacredness of marriage. I am very excited and happy for the Monterosso's!

Laurie is a kindred spirit sort of friend. She does similar work as I do in Detroit, Michigan, working with children in foster care, all in an inner city with so many circumstances that put these kids at risk. I love to talk to her because she "gets it" in a way that only someone working in this field can relate (and no offense to all of you who are not- we need you too!) so we have many conversations.....A few months ago, I was talking to her on the phone and all of the sudden she starting crying and freaking out. She had hit a dog in the road and was trying to figure out if it was alive and if she should go and pick it up to take to an emergency vet. Well, Laurie did end up getting the injured dog in her back seat and taking it to the vet ER, where is subsequently died not only from being hit by the car, but also rat poisoning. Laurie was so upset and distraught, and this story, although sad, describes her passionate and feeling heart!

Laurie and her new hubby live in an inner city Detroit neighborhood. Although she would have to tell you more about it, they will live in an intentional community with other members of their church to live with people they want to serve and share life with....Nick does homeless outreach for his job through a non-profit and they are literally being the hands and feet of Jesus in Detroit.

Although it was a quick weekend trip, we also got to spend some time with the fam and get spoiled by Mom and Dad with big breakfasts and homemade dinners from the grill. It was nice and refreshing. Plus my Mom, who's love language is gifts, always ends up packing my suitcase with random odds and ends like new pj's, shampoo, and fun earrings.

Now the hubby is already away at his job for the week, I am trying to get ready for the week and motivate myself for grand things (stay posted...)

Here is to my friend, Katie, who wants to swap recipes.....Anyone else want to share?

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Macaroni and Cheese with Cauliflower


Cooking with extra-sharp Cheddar lets you use less cheese without giving up flavor. Tender cauliflower adds fiber and vitamin C.

12 ounces multi grain elbow macaroni

1 head cauliflower, roughly chopped

4 slices multi grain bread, torn

1/2 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley, chopped

3 tablespoons olive oil

Kosher salt and pepper

1 onion, finely chopped

1 1/2 cups grated extra-sharp Cheddar (6 ounces)

1 1/2 cups reduced-fat sour cream

1/2 cup 1 percent milk

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Heat oven to 400° F. Cook the pasta according to the package directions, adding the cauliflower during the last 3 minutes of cooking time; drain.

Meanwhile, pulse the bread in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. Add the parsley, 2 tablespoons of the oil, and 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper and pulse to combine; set aside.

Return the pasta pot to medium heat and add the remaining tablespoon of oil. Add the onion, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, just until soft, 5 to 7 minutes. Mix in the pasta, cauliflower, cheese, sour cream, milk, and mustard.

Transfer to a shallow 3-quart baking dish, sprinkle with the bread crumbs, and bake until golden brown, 12 to 15 minutes.

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A DC girlfriend, Micah, made this for our small group and it was so yummy I made up my own tonight...Great comfort food with some healthiness "snuck" in....Make it while its still cold outside! Oh and its from http://www.realsimple.com/, my favorite recipe source!