Self Soothing Required

To self soothe. Ahhh, what a catch phrase. I see this many times a day as I review, edit and write treatment plans; Skills such as self soothing are ones that we try to teach our youngsters and parents via community mental health.

We might practice relaxation techniques with a child. Belly breathing perhaps. Do you remember this from choir practice? I remember laying on the floor with a solo cup on my stomach. The idea is that the solo cup rises, because you breath deeply in your lungs so your stomach goes up. And so does the cup. A visual aid does wonders for a child, and adult. I still struggle with "belly breathing" but I am not afraid to lay on the floor of my office with a kiddo and mom to give it one more shot. Maybe my choir teacher lied to me. If so, I need to know before I continue this malarkey.

What about progressive muscle relaxation? Now, I have my drama teacher to thank for this one. I remember in middle school laying down on the floor (seems to be a theme) and "tightening and releasing" the muscles of the body, led by a dramatic narrative from our teacher. Then I took a high level psych class in graduate school (and paid a few thousand dollars) to learn that same exact thing. I even had to tape myself saying the narrative and turn it in for "review". Something I conquered in 7th grade cost me a pretty penny to have a PhD.D. professor listen to my voice on a cassette years later (maybe my parents can now feel good about private school education. Not the graduate school one, but the 7th grade one, ha).

Other self soothing: we might listen to music, help teenagers make lists, make self soothing boxes with lots of ideas of ways to calm down when upset, count to 10 (although I have had many a 10 year old say, "Ms. Heather, counting to 10 does NOT work! I need something new!", and who can blame hims and hers, that does sounds kinda lame!). Take a bubble bath. Snuggle with someone you love. Talk it out. Take a walk.

Don't: smoke marijuana, have aimless sex, self harm, yell at your mom, run out the house, get in a fight, etc, etc....

See there, you could now lead a skill building session on self soothing and even bill medicaid, if you can throw in some therapeutic words (and of course, actually provide the service).

While my day did NOT include this (read about my friend's Lacie's terrible day), it was quite horrible as well. I do not need to divulge all the gritty details, but yesterday and today were troubling for me at work and I felt real fear for my safety. To lose your peace of mind is priceless. This is a risk working with mentally ill people, but I've never felt directly threatened. I am working through it, to say the least.

God must have known it was going to be a rough week because on Monday (before all this happened) I booked a massage for this evening. My long run on Saturday left my body in bad shape and a pain in my upper buttocks (so proper) continued to ail me, so I thought that surely warranted a little sports massage. I mean I have to be in proper condition for the big race.

So, I left work early to decompress a bit and prepped for my big massage. I leisurely walk to the spa, enjoying the cooler weather, to show up at the desk to realize they don't have me booked and I cannot actually get the massage tonight. HUGE self soothing FAIL. What disappointment. How could a day get worse? I know it actually could, by lots of terrible things that really do matter, but at that moment the news that I would not be getting my ass worked by skilled hands really sent me into the dumps.

Self soothe resiliency action plan went into action. Go to the grocery store. Fix a plate from the "hot meal line" including one drummette of fried chicken, some Kraft type looking macaroni and cheese (ya know, bright orange "fake" cheese) and mashed potatoes. Pick up one slice of chocolate cake from the deli. Pick up sweet tea (hard to find in the North, but I got the full calorie kind in a bottle). One People style watch magazine. 2 DVDs from the Red box (I had to pick ones that are totally girly and lame and that Jonathan would never allow on the weekends).

Jonathan is away, which really stinks on a night like this, but I have my comfort food and DVDs to hopefully lighten my mood. Self soothing resiliency prevails! As well as, (I hope) a continued positive outlook for my life work and how to go about my day to day feeling safe and at peace. If only that were as simple as eating some comfort food and numbing the mind with some "rom com's" and magazines.

I have always bounced back. Cheers and optimism to that.
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P.S.- I just went on bananarepublic.com and they are having a sale. If you spend $100, then you get 25% off. Yikes. Now we are in trouble. Let's see, I didn't spend money on the massage so....

See, Jonathan, you really should have caught a flight home to rescue (or supervise) your wife from her misery. So she doesn't spend money in attempts to self soothe. A few lbs from carbohydrates are one things, but banana republic can do more lasting harm.