To the Church (us).

I recently read Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis. While this book has been out for awhile, I just now got to it. Honestly, the ideas didn't seem too "new" to me and it wasn't my favorite of books but I got through it quickly and the epilogue really impacted me. I am glad to have read it to get to the end in which Mr. Bell wrote to us,

"One summer when I was in high school, my family and I were on vacation and decided to visit a church in the town where we were staying. At the end of the service, the pastor asked if anybody wanted to become a Christian. he said that people could repeat a prayer after him and become a Christian, right there at that moment in their seats. he said that if people repeated this prayer after him, they could be sure that when they died, they would go to heaven and not hell. He then asked everybody to bow their heads and close their eyes, and said the prayer, leaving space after each sentence for those who wanted to repeat the prayer after him. When he finished, he told everybody to keep their eyes closed and heads bowed. He then asked for the people who had prayed the prayer to raise their hands wherever they were seated. This way he would know who they were so he could pray for them. He said that nobody but him would be looking.

The pastor then said, "I see that hand over there. Thank you. I See a hand in the back. I see some young women in the front..." And he proceeded to acknowledge the hands that were going up all around the room.

During this entire time I had kept my eyes open and was watching the whole thing.

I didn't see any hands go up.

Several years ago my dad reminded me of that day. He told me that he had his eyes open the whole time as well - only he was not watching for hands. He was watching me. He said that when he realized what was going on and that I was observing it all, he had this sick feeling that I would walk away from God and church and faith forever. He kept thinking, I've lost Rob, I've lost Rob.

I am like you. I have seen plenty done in the name of God that I'm sure God doesn't want anything to do with. I have lots of reasons for bailing on the whole thing.

I am also like you because I have a choice. To become bitter, cynical, jaded, and hard. Anybody can do that. A lot have. Hatred is a powerful, unifying force. And there is a lot to be repulsed by.

Or, like you, I can reclaim my innocence. We can choose to reclaim our innocence together. We can insist that hope is real and that a group of people who love God and others really can change the world. We can reclaim our idealism and our belief and our confidence in the big ideals that stir us deep in our bones. We can commit all the more to being the kinds of people who are learning how to do what Jesus teaches us.

I am not going to stop dreaming of a new kind of faith for the millions of us who need it. I am not going to stop dreaming of new kinds of communities that put the love of God and the brilliance of Jesus on display in honest, compelling ways. I am not going to stop dreaming of new ways to live lives of faith and creativity and meaning and significance.

But I can't do it alone. I need you. We need you. We need you to rediscover wonder and awe. We need you to believe that it is really possible. We need you to join us.

It's better that way.

It's what Jesus had in mind. "

As I pray to not have a cynical heart towards children, mental health, systems of care which are supposed to take care of children, christians also who are supposed to take care of said children, and then the church in general, I need so much grace. For me it is so much easier to love those who might seem "far from the pew" but my own Christian brother, the preacher, the so called devout church goer, I sometimes find harder to love. But there is no excuse for any cynicism, bitterness or careless words. God will endlessly renew me to give grace, as I always receive grace from Him, I just need to ask and be humble, before God and everyone I interact with everyday and even on Sundays (when I go to church, which is a whole other topic but related!).