Dear Mrs. Obama

Dear First Lady, Mrs. Obama,

I attended the Washington Science and Technology Charter School high school graduation ceremony today in support of a young lady who I have worked with over the past two years. This young lady graduated today, representing years of hard work and overcoming many hardships and challenges in her life. Struggles to the extent of which I have never personally experienced: like those powerful stories that you read about in memoirs of resilience on the best seller list.

Because I was at this graduation to celebrate a young woman’s perseverance and accomplishments, I was honored to hear you speak to the graduating class, teachers, parents, and well, me. It was like you were speaking directly at me. As if I came into your office one day, beat down and discouraged, and it was your job to pick me back up, dust me off, and send me away inspired and ready to go again.

For the past two years, I have been working with children, adolescents and their families at Community Connections, a non-profit mental health agency here in DC. Formally, I am a mental health clinician and that is the nature of my role and vocational responsibilities. Additionally, I wear many “hats” of mentor, cheerleader, target of rage, mediator, taxi driver, advocate, educator and friend for many of these beautiful young people in the district. Professionally, there are things such as boundaries and best practices, which I hold in high esteem, but beyond a job title, I am a person who works with people and their emotions, dreams, hopes, disappointments, and deep hurts.

As author Henri Nouwen said, “"When I ask myself, "Who helps me the most?" I must answer, "The one who is willing to share his or her life with me".

My goal, which also facilitates mental health rehabilitation, is to share my life and self with others as Nouwen mentions. To meet them where they are and to just be with them at a given moment in time. Hopefully, this will propel them to growth, a more positive life, and less troublesome symptoms as they live their lives. Without this crucial relationship and regard for people, my guess is that mental health treatment would be an utter failure.

While it might sound inspirational on paper, the days are long, tiring and the rewards small and slow in coming. Progress has to be measured by inches, not feet. Emotionally, at the end of the day, I am lucky if there is any energy left for myself or my husband. Of course, I have purpose in my days and work, knowing that I do make a difference, even as small as if might seem or actually be, but I do get worn down and discouraged.

So thank you for your inspiration today. As you spoke to the graduates of 2009, and said, “You are ready” even though you have doubts and insecurities, underneath a confident exterior. Because 9 years after my own high school graduation, I often think I am not smart enough, kind enough, self aware enough, or worthy enough to do this work. But I accept your words of “You are ready” and as you passed on inspiration to these young people, you also gave it to me. Thank you for talking with us, not down to us, or at us. There is such warmth in shared human experiences. In the realization that while we might look different and come from various backgrounds, we actually share such similar hopes and dreams, and hurts. It is comforting to have those moments when we are more the same than different, more of a family than wandering parts, and a part of something beyond ourselves, whether that be a community rooting for young people, a country supporting soldiers abroad, or adults trying to keep our families and work lives balanced.

A sincere thank you again, Mrs. Obama.

Best Regards,

Heather Lively